YWYWTBYN: Everybody Loves Charlie!

June 26th, 2006 // 7 Comments

In a twisted way, sex has always been a temptation for many. Charlie Sheen is a prime example of a member of the Hollywood set whom the sex trade has lured in. Although Sheen is not a socialite, nor a royal figure, one could say that this week’s addition of You Wish You Were Them But You’re Not is a semi-related form of “Six Degrees of Separation: Charlie Sheen”, more specifically related to this particular actor’s past behavior.

We begin across the globe in Italy, where Prince Vittorio Emanuele of Savoy has been accused of acquiring Eastern European prostitutes for a casino in northern Italy. As punishment for his charges, he was banned from setting foot in the country until three years ago and is currently being held in a detention center. Maintaining his innocence, he has said, “I don’t need to rent out whores to third parties for ß2000 a night.” This all sounds very similar to a quote Sheen allegedly made, saying, “I don’t pay for sex. I pay for her to leave after we’re done.” Heidi Fleiss is still smarting over that comment. Prostitution is never the answer, no matter who you are, right, Hugh Grant (who, might I add, dates UK socialite Gemima Khan)?

Returning back to Mr. Sheen, it seems that he is currently dating Brooke Mueller, a Palm Beach socialite. The two have apparently met each other’s parents. Thank God that he has moved on from estranged wife and uber-backstabber, Denise Richards. Good for him. Brooke’s mother relays that “Charlie says he loves her personality and, of course, her looks.” Charlie must have conveniently forgotten to mention her wallet. Articles posted commenting on this new union also remind us of Charlie’s hobbies: porn, drugs and gambling. Sheen also continues to deny allegations made by a woman who has spoken out, saying that she dated Charlie through dating website MillionaireMatch.com. The woman called Sheen a “perv” and said that he “used” her after making her dress up in various kinky costumes.

Good luck to you, Brooke.

Similar to Sheen, a woman has recently taken back her statements about various famous flings from the past. After publicly stating her happiness over rendezvous with such UK pop stars as James Blunt and Robbie Williams, British socialite Tara Palmer-Tomkinson is now saying that she “was talking about relationships in general – and relationships include friendships.” Good save, Tara.

We hope that the Star-reading population will soon be rid of the influence that is Charlie Sheen. Chances are, they won’t be.

By Miu von Furstenberg
asl

  1. Stoney

    I couldn’t hate this twisted womanizing perverted narcissist more if he started campaigning for Jeb Bush.

  2. tahlullah

    these articles are lame

  3. megan

    I know that there’s been a lot of typos lately, but it’s pretty sorry when the name of the person being gossiped about is wrong. It’s Jemima Khan.

  4. mandalala

    what does ywywtbyn mean?

  5. Lucy

    YWYWTBYN – You Wish You Were Them But You’re Not

  6. Martino

    You wrote “As punishment for his charges, he was banned from setting foot in the country until three years ago” but it was his entire family to be banned from Italy until that time, and it was not for any traffic like that, but because the former royal family was involved in fascism during the WW II.
    You’re funny, anyway.

  7. Juju

    Right on point, Martino.

    Also, are Hugh and Jemima even together anymore?

    Sheen’s a slag who’s cred will never be rehabbed.

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