You’re Not Gonna See Kelly Clarkson Knocked Up Anytime Soon

I like Kelly Clarkson. Her music does little for me (other than “Since U Been Gone” which is up there with The Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way” as the best pop song of all time), but she breaks it down for ya. She told “Elle” that she’d be a bad Mom. You know, the kind that locks the kid in the barn and gives em’ enemas and then the kid ends up having split personalities. What, you didn’t see “Sybil”? That was a hot flick!

In a revealing new interview in Elle magazine, Clarkson confesses that she thinks she’d be a “horrible” mother, has never been in love, and doesn’t necessarily want to get married either.

On not wanting children:
“My point of view is that I shouldn’t be a mother at all, because I’d be horrible. I’m not willing to be that selfless.”

On marriage: “I’m not keen on marriage. I don’t let many people in. Men come and go. Friends are what I care about.”

Obvious lesbian. Kidding. Kel also talked about her ongoing bitch brawl with octogenarian music nazi Clive Davis. Keep reading (and see more photos from her Elle spread) for what she had to say about him trying to bar her from releasing her new album.

The 25-year-old American Idol winner also opens up about her well-publicized disputes with her record label, revealing that Clive Davis offered her $10 million to give up five songs that she wrote for her new album in exchange for some top 40 surefire hits of his choosing.

“I am a good singer, so I can’t possibly be a good writer,” she says sarcastically in the July issue of the mag. “Women can’t possibly be good at two things.”

Testify, Kel! She might have wanted to take the money, though. It sounds like her new album isn’t going to be flying off iTunes. And you already probably guessed this, but yes, I would completely compromise my artistic integrity for ten million. Is she f*cking crazy? Write a letter of defense for Paris Hilton for 10 million? How do you spell “obvious miscarriage of justice”?