Your Britney Update (Now Featuring Dr. Phil!)

January 6th, 2008 // 16 Comments

Photos: WENN

Grab yourself a drink and settle in. A lot has gone on. Britney Spears has gotten out of the hospital, being released early from her 72 hour “hold”. No one involved in this case was alerted, as Cedar Sinai had the authority to release her early if they determined she wasn’t a “danger”. Sources say she was pitching a goddamn fit in there before she was released. A fit that included shrieking at staff, and tearing out her IV. Britney has reportedly returned to her manse (not a hotel?) and appeared once yesterday in her driveway. After seeing the legion of photogs waiting, she turned around and went back in. But other reports say she has made another attempt to go out in the world with her new bff, Adnan the paparazzi. That cat is looking for some funding, otherwise why would you insert yourself in that mess? Oh, but this gets better. Dr. Phil has insinuated himself into the proceedings, and visited Britney in the hospital before she was released! That bald asshole.

Keep reading for where he whores himself out for ratings, but Britney wanted nothing to do with him.

So, Dr. Phil (allegedly at the behest of Britney’s parents Lynne and Jamie) rolled up on Britney in the hospital at 7 AM to counsel her ass and try to get ratings for his show. I hope Oprah fires him. That dude is HIGHLY obnoxious. Someone should burn the Dr. Phil house down. In a statement to the media (ugh), Philski says that he is very concerned for Britney and spent an “hour” talking with her in the hospital about her problems. This is funny because a conflicting report says that Britney was more like “get the f*ck out of my hospital room, you bald prick” and wouldn’t talk to him and demanded he leave. And the only “hour” was the one in his boastful, delusional head. Does he even have a degree that wasn’t facillitated via the back of a matchbook? Reportedly, Britney’s dad Jamie was by her side through this entire mess. And he considers Dr. Phil to be “a god” according to reports. That poor man. So that’s how Dr. Phil got the go-ahead to terrorize Brit. Both Britney’s parents will allegedly appear this week on his show. Ugh. Mom Lynn and knocked up sister Jamie Lynn are back in Kentwood, LA. Lynne’s probably wondering if she can get Dr. Phil to write an introduction to her parenting book and Jamie Lynn’s wondering if she calls the father of her baby, will his wife answer? What a goddamn mess. Britney, check back in.

By J. Harvey

  1. Jesika

    Poor thing. She needs help, not more people looking to jump on the publicity bandwagon.


  2. Debbie

    She needs to realize she has a problem. Until that happens, she’ll continue her downward spiral.

  3. Debbie

    She needs to realize she has a problem. Until that happens, she’ll continue her downward spiral.

  4. Debbie

    She needs to realize she has a problem. Until that happens, she’ll continue her downward spiral.

  5. Sloane

    Britney may need a padded room but Phil? Who let him in? Dislike him so much could he be a bigger a&*?

  6. no prime time for brit

    no wonder brit is so screwed up. she was brought up by people who equate fame and fortune with happiness. of all the “professional advice” they seem to have sought out they go to the “famous” dr. phil. why is he famous? high college degrees? advanced scholarly writing? no. he’s on tv. he has a public relations team. just like the spears. their people probably know his people. he’s good friends with oprah. big deal. he’s been looking for a big fish to reel in. this family is a blue whale. imagine if he could get brit on his show. it’d beat the seinfeld finale.

    she doesn’t need publicity and her problems don’t need to be ironed out in the public. she’s screaming out for help and she gets a guest spot on prime time. sad.

    if phil really cares about britney he will bow out and stop trying to fix this family. he could put them in touch with excellent REAL PROFESSIONALS though.

  7. i hope

    Isn’t she with Jesus yet?! Damn.

  8. Mat G

    Of course she has a problem, and I wouldn’t doubt that she recognizes this. She’s been living in the shitter for ages now. I think it’s more about seeking one-on-one treatment to discuss and grieve her problems, which is what she needs now. Admitting one has a problem is a big step, but it means nothing if that person doesn’t seek a remedy for that problem.
    Simple as pie: girl needs to get herself treatment and stick with it.

  9. Hey Cupcake

    I have a feeling if I were Brit – that is, crazy, addicted, having just had my kids ripped out of my arms, then been strapped to a gurney and wheeled through the throngs (Adnan! Adnan!) in order to be tied to a bed in a psych ward, and DR. PHUCKING PHIL showed, up, I’d probably pull a Linda Blair-Exorcist maneuver.

  10. devil

    The Spears family makes the Manson family look like the Brady Bunch. I’m actually feeling a bit of sympathy for Britney – although I still HATE what she’s doing to those boys.

    Get her out of California, out of the limelight and into a good mental institution for a long stay.

    Really, the best thing for her would be to just walk away from her fame. She could live off what she currently has if she invests wisely. But she’d have to make being a good mother a priority, and she’s never done that before so why now?

  11. SayWhat?!?!

    Dr. Phil has some more trying issues he should be attending to…such as a 800 million dollar lawsuit, against him, Paramount Studio’s and Harpo Productions, from Deepak and Satish Kalope.
    As they state in the civil suit, his show manipulated/edited “evidence”, a video/audio tape in question made by one Jamie Skeeters to be played on his make it sound like Deepak Kalope was stating he, along with his brother Satish and Joran Van Der Sloot, gang-raped Natalee Holloway.

    The original video/audio tape that is located on shows exactly what questions were asked, and how Deepak answered. The video/audio tape that was played on Dr Phil’s show, Sept 2005, was clearly manipulated/edited.

    This case will end up in civil court in LA sometime next year.

  12. Anne Arkham

    Don’t judge, people. You know damn well you’d shriek and rip out your IV, too, if someone let Dr. Phil into your room.

  13. Hey Cupcake

    Which will happen first: Britney gets committed (long-term), Dr. Phil gets his fat ass sued, or Phil’s wife Robin’s face splits in two from the 50 facelifts?

  14. green cardigan

    ‘That bald asshole’….lol.

  15. btchyspice

    ok, when will the eval come out on dr. pheel? please!! will some real shrink shrink the “shrink?” my gawd!!! why hasn’t his practitioner’s “license” been revoked, yet?

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