Your Britney Update (Now Featuring Dr. Phil!)

Photos: WENN

Grab yourself a drink and settle in. A lot has gone on. Britney Spears has gotten out of the hospital, being released early from her 72 hour “hold”. No one involved in this case was alerted, as Cedar Sinai had the authority to release her early if they determined she wasn’t a “danger”. Sources say she was pitching a goddamn fit in there before she was released. A fit that included shrieking at staff, and tearing out her IV. Britney has reportedly returned to her manse (not a hotel?) and appeared once yesterday in her driveway. After seeing the legion of photogs waiting, she turned around and went back in. But other reports say she has made another attempt to go out in the world with her new bff, Adnan the paparazzi. That cat is looking for some funding, otherwise why would you insert yourself in that mess? Oh, but this gets better. Dr. Phil has insinuated himself into the proceedings, and visited Britney in the hospital before she was released! That bald asshole.

Keep reading for where he whores himself out for ratings, but Britney wanted nothing to do with him.

So, Dr. Phil (allegedly at the behest of Britney’s parents Lynne and Jamie) rolled up on Britney in the hospital at 7 AM to counsel her ass and try to get ratings for his show. I hope Oprah fires him. That dude is HIGHLY obnoxious. Someone should burn the Dr. Phil house down. In a statement to the media (ugh), Philski says that he is very concerned for Britney and spent an “hour” talking with her in the hospital about her problems. This is funny because a conflicting report says that Britney was more like “get the f*ck out of my hospital room, you bald prick” and wouldn’t talk to him and demanded he leave. And the only “hour” was the one in his boastful, delusional head. Does he even have a degree that wasn’t facillitated via the back of a matchbook? Reportedly, Britney’s dad Jamie was by her side through this entire mess. And he considers Dr. Phil to be “a god” according to reports. That poor man. So that’s how Dr. Phil got the go-ahead to terrorize Brit. Both Britney’s parents will allegedly appear this week on his show. Ugh. Mom Lynn and knocked up sister Jamie Lynn are back in Kentwood, LA. Lynne’s probably wondering if she can get Dr. Phil to write an introduction to her parenting book and Jamie Lynn’s wondering if she calls the father of her baby, will his wife answer? What a goddamn mess. Britney, check back in.