You Know That Couple In High School Or Freshman Year Of College That Goes Back And Forth And Everyone Hates Their Asses?

April 24th, 2007 // 12 Comments

Paris and that guy who mows the lawn on “Desperate Housewives” are terrible . Why would they still get invited places if they playing all these cutesy vomit MySpace teenybopper reindeer games? They look carved out of cheese. Blech.

The couple were in a huge fight yesterday, and Josh refused to celebrate his buddy’s birthday at Saddle Ranch bar because Paris was scheduled to show up. After Josh heard that Paris changed her mind about going, he decided to go ahead and hit up the hotspot. But when Paris got wind that Josh was out, the heiress couldn’t resist crashing the party.

Shortly after the heiress arrived, the two appeared to have worked through their bickering and left together for Area nightclub.

“I’m not gonna go if Paris is there!” Are you a man? Fer chrissakes, I’m a f*cking flaming homosexual with Barbies in my apartment and I think I have more testes than you. Seriously, they’re THAT couple. The only way you can stand hanging around them is if you’re drunk because they’re fighting all the time and playing juvenile mindgames. And if they weren’t celebrities, they’d get married and be strangling each other for all eternity. Then add kids. But since they’re famous and dumb, they’ll get bored soon and find some other bodily fluid receptacle. And it’s a whole new configuration to irritate everyone. I thought California was supposed to have earthquakes. What gives?


By J. Harvey

  1. jackie

    wrong guy, that was the incedibly useless Jesse Metacalf..this dude plays Edie’s nephew whos schtuping Susan’s fugly daughter.

  2. He must’ve gotten the test results back.


  3. I wonder if this guy has seen her porn tape. $7.99 T-Shirts

  4. Mel

    I’m so glad Starvos dumped her on her ass.

  5. Mel

    I’m so glad Starvos dumped her ass. All she could find to date her (really who’s left?) is this loser, jessica simpson left over.

  6. shavonne

    actually josh henderson doesnt play on desperate housewives….. jesse metcalfe played the graden boy…. sooo umm yeah u talking about the wrong person

  7. Victoria

    I love the flaming homosexual part with the barbie dolls- brilliant! It’s probably pretty close to the truth, and Paris does look particuarly strange- rather cheese like in appearance. Reading really brightens up my day :) Keep up the great work!

  8. Sue

    Jackie & Shavonne, Josh is on Desperate Housewives.

    I’m all about the snark, but don’t be so mean to J. when you haven’t even checked your facts, let alone his.

  9. JaneSays

    All that was missing from that configuration was some hair pulling followed by a lot of crying and uncontrollable snot bubbles…all caused by the low quality coke they’re having to share now that Joey is in the pokey!

  10. Sue

    My suspicion is that Paris will continue to function on a teenage level for eternity. She is stunted at the age of 15, probably in part due to her heavy partying since a young age. There is tons of evidence that especially heavy alcohol use will likely retard emotional growth in a teenage user. So we can look forward to her junior high stunts for as long as she is in our faces! After looking at the picture that J. posted, she kind of does look like she was carved out of cheese!!! J. you crack me up!

  11. Christa

    “I’m a f*cking flaming homosexual with Barbies in my apartment and I think I have more testes than you.”


    I **heart** you J Harvey.

  12. Katie

    I like the carved out of cheese image. Thank you for that. And we’re not talking classy French cheese, Paris aside. We’re going straight-up cheap-ass cheddar on that one, unless Cheez-Whiz can solidify.

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