You Mean Brandon Wasn’t Winning Anything Over at the GQ Man of the Year Awards Last Night? Odd.

November 30th, 2006 // 5 Comments


Please, God, say it ain’t so. You know it’s bad when you dump your scrub and then take up with Paris’.

X-17 shows us the stuff of nightmares. And I’m not just talking about the scary shirts they’re wearing. Britney and Fat Elvis (who I’ve read is going broke) were out and about last night at Teddy’s. I’d be kinder to him but ever since the “firecrotch” tape and the way he said she was disgusting for not being richer, I’ve thought this guy was the biggest tool in the box. He looks like a bellhop at the Hotel California and I want to smack some sense into her. You bought some panties! You were on the right track! Now you’re going to share a bucket of chicken and some coke cut with baby laxative with this clown. I quit.

p.s. It’s bad that I think he could possibly be sorta hot if he showered and got a personality bypass, right? *hangs head* I’m going to go pray for guidance, now.


By J. Harvey

  1. salish

    its ok…I also think he could kinda, possibly maybe kinda hot…

  2. 2 Old 4 This

    I’ve seen pictures of him when he was younger, cleaner, not as shiny and he wasn’t a bad looking kid.
    On the outside.

    There’s every possibility that he was, even then, a hideous vacuous toad on the inside.

  3. coalharbourqt

    It’s okay – I’ve often thought the same thing about him… I guess it’s all that ugliness on the inside that oozes out of his pores that is such a turnoff (and the coke).

    Who knows, maybe Brandon, Britney and Lindsay will form the Sobriety Trifecta or something though…wishful thinking I’m sure. Brit and Linds need to leave all the talentless hacks in the dust!

  4. diavolobella

    I’m so glad I’m not alone. He could be quite handsome if he cleaned up, got a sharp haircut and dressed better. He’s got the basic materials to be quite the looker. He actually looks a lot like Billy Zane.

    Unfortunately the personality…not so much.

  5. EraserFan

    Just for the record, J.Harvey once described Dorothy on the Golden Girls as Handsome. Then, he found out she was a woman, and that’s how he turned gay!

    Know who I think is handsome? Donovan McNabb. Not handsome on the outside, but on the inside. What a nice man.

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