You Can’t Hang Out With Nicole Richie Unless Your Organs Are Failing

May 30th, 2007 // 4 Comments

Perhaps she’s just being ironic and spicy because she’s allegedly seeking treatment for her eating disorder on an outpatient basis. Perhaps she’s one of the skinny girls who’s dying inside and always hating on the bigger gals. Perhaps she’s just a bitch. The e-mail invite to Nicole Richie’s Memorial Day party has gone public and not only is she a bitch, she’s a dumb one. What do you mean she doesn’t know what Memorial Day is for? Did she go to school?

My fellow Americans its that time of year To celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer Let’s stand together as one, live the American dream Take shots, pass out, & wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems Let’s glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans Even though we have no fucking clue what Memorial Day really means!!

There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!

I know that’s supposed to be some kind of joke, but damn I can see your veins and stuff. It’s like a homeless person joking about his condo. I’m all for slutty tops though. She’s why our armed forces have risked their lives for decades – so she can be free to be an airhead bitch and Mischa Barton can have a bad trip and go to the hospital. I think that’s inscribed on a plaque somewhere in Arlington Cemetery.

(Flynet)

Photos of Nicole Richie getting her nails done and after the jump.

(Flynet)

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. Casey

    hahaha thats why i enjoy nicole that shit was funny i still think the poor thing needs to eat something

  2. punctuation anyone?

    If she did indeed write this, and I’m not saying I think she did, someone needs to learn basic punctuation skills.

    Just b/c she probably doesn’t have a period anymore (due to the anorexia) doesn’t mean she should completely forget the function of one in a sentence. (Or its versus it’s, for that matter).

  3. annabelleclare

    It’s supposed to be a poem and written in rhyming couplets, so I can forgive the bad punctuation. However, she means “seams”, not “seems”. Anyway you slice it, she’s an ignorant ho.

  4. annabelleclare

    It’s supposed to be a poem and written in rhyming couplets, so I can forgive the bad punctuation. However, she means “seams”, not “seems”. Anyway you slice it, she’s an ignorant ho.

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