Ya Think?

Sources are now saying that Britney’s problem isn’t substance abuse, it’s bipolar disorder. Seriously, why don’t these “reputable” networks and news agencies just turn to the blogs for the proper diagnosis. We’ve been saying she’s been aboard the bipolar express for about three years now. Sure, we don’t have psychology degrees but we have observed her 24-7 and noted her every action. You don’t need a degree to know that something is off with the brain chemistry! Screw these experts, turn to us keyboard jockeys! We’ve put in the time! Family members of Brit’s have allegedly said she’s been showing signs of this even prior to the head-shaving incident of aught 7. Allegedly Britney’s reponses to her family’s concern (that the cash keeps flowing in) was that “she wouldn’t listen to anyone. She said she knew what she was doing.” Obviously. Cause cackling madly while being STRAPPED DOWN TO A GURNEY obviously means you have things well in hand. I actually have to agree with Dr. Phil (who’s whoring himself into this situation) when he says that releasing her from the hospital was the worst thing possible. She needs some quiet time and some good meds to straight herself out. Then she needs to talk to a caring professional. And then move. To a cornfield in Iowa. And get a job at a sewing store. And a fern. And stay in. And do crossword puzzles. Keep your Dad handy, he seems a little less “White Oprah”-ish than the Moms.