Ya Think?

January 6th, 2008 // 7 Comments

Sources are now saying that Britney’s problem isn’t substance abuse, it’s bipolar disorder. Seriously, why don’t these “reputable” networks and news agencies just turn to the blogs for the proper diagnosis. We’ve been saying she’s been aboard the bipolar express for about three years now. Sure, we don’t have psychology degrees but we have observed her 24-7 and noted her every action. You don’t need a degree to know that something is off with the brain chemistry! Screw these experts, turn to us keyboard jockeys! We’ve put in the time! Family members of Brit’s have allegedly said she’s been showing signs of this even prior to the head-shaving incident of aught 7. Allegedly Britney’s reponses to her family’s concern (that the cash keeps flowing in) was that “she wouldn’t listen to anyone. She said she knew what she was doing.” Obviously. Cause cackling madly while being STRAPPED DOWN TO A GURNEY obviously means you have things well in hand. I actually have to agree with Dr. Phil (who’s whoring himself into this situation) when he says that releasing her from the hospital was the worst thing possible. She needs some quiet time and some good meds to straight herself out. Then she needs to talk to a caring professional. And then move. To a cornfield in Iowa. And get a job at a sewing store. And a fern. And stay in. And do crossword puzzles. Keep your Dad handy, he seems a little less “White Oprah”-ish than the Moms.

By J. Harvey

  1. LJN

    Look at Borderline Personality Disorder symptoms first. That diagnosis seems more likely than true bipolar disorder.

  2. goldend

    I agree

  3. stolidog

    she’s not bipolar, she’s a spoiled meth addict.

  4. shadygoddess

    No, it’s the results of pimping out a little girl and hanging her exposed flesh out to hungry wolves (horny older men) in order to give Mommy Lynn a cushy retirement. This is a girl who has seen too much, is oversexed, and un-parented.
    Sex=money, and Lynn Spears wasn’t about to miss an opportunity for it. She wouldn’t just give birth for nothin, honey!

  5. T-Bone

    Makes perfect sense to me, and I am a mental health professional. And no, if you knew anything about Borderline Personality Disorder, you’d know that she does not fit the bill. She is actually classic bipolar. And those with biplar disorder often have substance abuse problems as well, because both their manic states and their depressive states are physically and mentally painful. While approximately 3 % of population is diagnosed with this, don’t think it’s easy to treat. Bipolar I is considered a SEVERE mental illness, has a high rate of recurrence and is one of the leading causes of suicidal deaths in teens and 20′s. Mix this with child fame and chemicals and it is truly a recipe for disaster.

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