Wrapping It Up: The 2010 American Music Awards

Well tonight were the American Music Awards, kicked off by Rihanna, donning door knocker earrings and a red perm that Chaka Khan rocked back in ’86.

We brought you red carpet pics all night long – Avril Lavigne, Christina Milian, Fergie, Heidi Klum, Jessica Alba, Katy Perry, Kelly Osbourne, Ke$ha, Mandy Moore, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, Pink, Rihanna, Ryan Kwanten, Taylor Swift, The Situation, Usher and Willow Smith.

Let’s just get to the performances and the awards…

Rihanna opened the show with a medley of new songs off her album Loud, all of which proved that she is not a terrific live singer. Also could her vagina have been featured more? I wonder if people will complain about that. Just funny that Adam Lambert got so much guff for just kissing a dude, but this bitch literally just had her beef curtains up in the camera.

Thankfully we got her performance out of the way right at the beginning.

Will.i.am wore an interest outfit that was comprised of many Lego accessories and Fergie’s weird matador dress with giant feathered shoulderpads. Blech. And their performance made me realize that they really make music suited for 30-second long commercials and then just loop that shit for 3 and a half minutes. They looked like a United Colors of Benetton ad.

Miley’s performance was abysmal, full of screaming and roses and a lace black dress that was an attempt to prove that she’s a grown woman or that she’s Stevie Nicks. And if Stevie Nicks was watching (I’m sure she wasn’t), she’d most certainly start doing cocaine again.

Sean “Whatever You Want To Call Me” Combs gave a horrible performance of a song that no one seemed to know. Taylor Swift was literally wearing Christina Aguilera’s wig from Burlesque – I promise you. But then during HER performance, she switched into Beyonce’s wig from “Me, Myself and I.” Proof is here.

Kid Rock sang some country/folk song. That’s all I can really say about it. And that’s really all that deserves to be said. Except he may have sung better than anyone up to that point in the evening.

Coming out with an all boys choir, Katy Perry certainly set the night ablaze with her performance of “Firework,” but I’ll again reiterate the obvious truth  – bitch can’t sing live. That is a fact. And that proved it.

Pink showed off her new mommy boobs and was decked out in probably the worst costume/performance outfit I have ever seen in my entire existence. It was truly like a genie. A demented, 80s graffiti genie.

Ke$ha was just out-and-out fun and I loved her performance.

The Backstreet Boys and New Kids On The Block were actually pretty amazing and entertaining. They still all looked great! Even skinny Nick Carter!

The awards:

Soul/R&B Album – Usher, Raymond Vs Raymond

Pop/Rock Band, Duo or Group – Black Eyed Peas

Country Female Artist – Taylor Swift

Latin Music Artist – Shakira

Soul/R&B Female artist – Rihanna

Country Male Artist – Brad Paisley

T-Mobile Breakthrough Artist – Justin Bieber

Pop/Rock, Male Artist – Justin Bieber

Country Band, Duo or Group – Lady Antebellum

Alternative Rock Music Artist – Muse

Adult Contemporary Artists – Michael Buble

Soul/R&B Male artist – Usher

Artist of the year – Justin Bieber