Meet my new best friend, Jacqueline Cutright. A 70-year-old woman who is amay-may. This woman, who you see above, was a victim of a home invasion by a masked robber. It gets better. She was taking a deuce and the robber was wearing a clown mask. I dare Stephen King to write anything scarier than my previous sentence.
What he took:
- $1,000 in costume jewelry (yes…oh, yes…)
- Her Ford Escort
What’s also great about this story is that the reporter really starts to inflect her “Are you fucking kidding me?” attitude in her narration toward the end. Oh, it’s a delight….watch it after the jump!