Winona Ryder Still Looking For A Five Finger Discount

March 20th, 2008 // 3 Comments

Don’t leave your purse around Winona Ryder. It looks like she’s still into boosting stuff that isn’t hers. You would think that this bitch would have had some sort of therapy by now.

Winona allegedly got caught leaving a CVS in Hollywood with a lot of make-up that she neglected to pay for. Supposedly, she set off the store alarm and a security guard stopped her crazy ass. The guard reportedly noticed her stolen swag.

When asked what the hell she doing, she said, “I don’t know how that happened.” Stop pulling my dick, Veronica. So she thinks someone set her up in a CVS?

The guard took back the stolen items, and Winona was allowed to leave. Winona was busted for stealing clothes from a Saks 5th Avenue store in Beverly Hills in 2001. They didn’t let her skip out on that one, and she got three years probation and had to do community service.

So I guess she never got help for the problem? It’s not about not being able to afford moisturizer. It’s about the thrill. I know a bitch that used to totally get off on swiping goods. He even shoplifted at the Vatican gift shop and they have armed guards! It’s a compulsion! And no, it wasn’t me. I tried, but the Pope talked me out of it. And then he touched me. Kidding.


By J. Harvey

  1. 2 Old 4 This

    Luv U J!!!!!

  2. Mikey Blue Eyes

    I love Winona Ryder and would be so disappointed if this story is true and she hasn’t been rehabilitated. It would truly be a shame if she threw away her talent on jail time for petty shoplifting.

  3. Jonny

    I’ve always found something about this woman I love; could never put my finger on it. She’d keep me guessing for as long as I lived. I’d pass-up any other woman for Wino Forever (Hi Jonny D!).

    And she can steal stuff from me anytime she likes. Anybody else who tries to steal from me (I don’t care if you’re Megan Fox), I’ll eat you alive.

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