Wild Hog

Here’s Johnny Trav. His new film is about middle-aged porky guys who go on a motorcycle trip to regain their youth. Kind of like City Slickers but gayer. Seriously, and not to be a complete bitch, but no one’s buyin’ the wedding ring, John. We’ve all seen the picture of you making out with your sideline hoe on the steps of your jet. You’re gayer than me. What I like about you is that you don’t really make an effort to hide it and are kinda “eh” about it. Like there’s numerous reports of you looking for D in the steam rooms of gyms in the cities you film movies in and it’s like, eh. Pictures of you kissing your guy on the runway. Eh. Reports that Kelly Preston kinda hangs out for the kids and because there’s money because no one saw Cat in the Hat. Eh. I like that in a guy! In the closet, out me if you must, but I’m not gonna worry about it. We love you, Johnny Trav!

(WENN)