Whitney Houston Will Overcome Everything, And Her Boobs Will Help Her In The Fight

April 7th, 2008 // 1 Comment

And you. Will always. Love Whitneeeeeeeeeeeey! Whitney Houston’s auntie, the nostril-flaring classic known as Dionne Warwick, is in her corner. She told the audience watching her perform at Muhammad Ali’s Celebrity Fight Night XIV event in Phoenix on Friday night that “Whitney Houston is back!”

“I’m thrilled that she’s in the studio and working on her new album,” Dionne, 67, said. “No doubt she’s overcoming everything that has been put in front of her even this week.”

For those of you not in the know, Whitney’s ex-husband Bobby Brown (“Bobby Browwwwn? Is that you?”) has written a book (*chortle*) in which he accuses Whitney of being a crack-smoking lezzie that led him down the path into hard drugs. I’m sure she shoved the coke up your nose against your will, Bob. Stop disgracing Massachusetts.

Whitney’s mentor, record exec legend Clive Davis, says that Whitney is in the midst of recording and read about Bobby’s book in the papers.

“I’m sure that this week has been traumatic but she’s committed and looking forward to her new life,” says Davis.

Whitney, just keep the crack pipe at bay, and find a nice ladyfriend to cuddle with and keep making music. We love you and support you.

Remember The Bodyguard? It was one of those movies that was a hit because of the theme song. The movie itself was a mess. She was dressed like an Egyptian in a club singing “Queen of the Night” and her sister was trying to kill her and there was flirtation over samurai swords? Lordy. It could have been so much hotter.

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. BK

    Oh, how I hate those fake boobs. Dionne’s looking good, though.

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