Where Is Lohan?

August 6th, 2007 // 7 Comments

It’s a burning question that you need the answer to. Page Six has her at her obnoxious Mom’s house in Long Island. The Insider says she’s in Utah at a very expensive rehab. Who to believe? Who do you trust? Let’s get some details. Long Island?

Ali [Lohan] was with her big sis when she hopped a plane from Los Angeles to New York late Friday night to be with her family. She’s been lying low at mom Dina’s house in Merrick since landing.

And there was some more crazy bullshit from her Dad. Newsflash, Mr. Lohan, Jesus hates you.


Keep reading for where the Insider claims Lohan’s in Mormon country praying she can find the one Mormon who deals.

“The Insider” Online breaks news that Lindsay Lohan has entered the Cirque Lodge drug and alcohol rehab in Sundance, Utah. According to sources within the facility, the 21-year-old star arrived this weekend to begin the intense rehabilitation program that is expected to last a minimum of 30 days.

30K. Damn, that’s college money! What it sounds like is that Lohan might have had enough of Dina’s showbusiness-obsessed ass and flew to Utah to avoid hearing Mom give any more “statements”. Dina has been releasing statements to everyone, even the guy who brings the spring water. If this Utah bit is true, Mormons are about to experience the joy of paparazzi in the bushes!

By J. Harvey

  1. Clementines

    Only the mormom’s or a ganster could face and hold down Lo-lan during withdrawals, scare off the papps and survive.

  2. T-Bone

    It’s like Where’s Waldo. No one cares.

  3. nymphetomine


  4. woohoo

    LOL.. exactly T bone

  5. Bill Cosby

    She should come to my rehab. I would suck her boobs all the time. I don’t know if it would help her with drugs, but I’d get to suck her rad tablets.

  6. just sayin'

    ummm…Jesus loves everyone, especially loser deadbeat dads who cant just shut up and have some loyalty to his family

  7. Am

    I couldn’t help but notice the obvious extensions Ali now has. Methinks Dina’s “work” is almost complete. This poor child doesn’t have a chance.

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