What Dick Wants

March 24th, 2006 // 5 Comments

Filename-48 Extra lamps, specific newspapers and a carafe. Just about as exciting as Dick Cheney.

Vice President Dick Cheney’s standard “tour” rider. The document is provided to hotels where Cheney will be bunking and lists how the Republican pol’s “Downtime Suite” needs to be outfitted. While the vice president’s requests are pretty modest (no extract-the-brown-M&M demands here), Cheney does like his suite at a comfy 68 degrees. And, of course, all the televisions need to be preset to the Fox News Channel (what, you thought he was a Lifetime devotee?). Decaf coffee should be ready upon his arrival along with four cans of caffeine-free Diet Sprite. And when Cheney is traveling with his wife Lynne, the second family’s suite needs an additional two bottles of sparkling water. Mrs. Cheney’s H2O should be either Calistoga or, curiously, Perrier, a favored beverage of French terrorism appeasers.

Dick Cheney’s Suite Demands [The Smoking Gun]

By Miu von Furstenberg
asl

  1. YOURface

    At least the part about no viagara with the hookers did not make it cause the guys has a bad ticker

  2. d.c.

    And I bet they hop to it, or stay outta range.. heh. You GO Cheney!

  3. no-han

    i don’t know why but thing that bothers me most about this is that he specifically requests “caffine free sprite”…is there any other kind of sprite? wtf?
    the littlest things irk me

  4. Small Fry

    Oh like we wouldn’t all have some stupid requests if we were the VP. Here is my list of requests:

    Charmin toilet paper
    24 bottles of Dr. Pepper, the ones shaped like a football
    Plush bed with goose down comforter and pillows
    Pint of Ben & Jerry’s vanilla caramel fudge swirl
    Two dozen Krispy Kreme donuts
    Fuzzy slippers
    12 pair sweatpants

  5. mod squad

    the items on the list are obviously code for other things/orders.

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