Water Sports Enthusiast Finally Going To Court

August 2nd, 2007 // 4 Comments

Trapped in the closet! Hot and fresh out the kitchen! He will pee on you and you will like it! So what if you’re 13? R. Kelly’s day in court has finally been scheduled. For Sept. 17. He is going on trial for fourteen counts of child pornography.There have been numerous delays in criminal proceedings since the video was made and the initial charges were filed. Which means that the minor in question will be 22 when the trial actually takes place. She was 13 in the video. Damn! People in iron lungs could outlap this justice!

The case has dragged on as prosecutors and defense attorneys sparred over various issues, including the timeline when the X-rated home movie was made, and which evidence was admissible. In the interim, the “I Can Believe I Can Fly” crooner has released seven albums, including Double Up in May, and continued to tour.

Dude, if this was a normal citizen, they would already have been raped and murdered in Block D. Celebrities get away with so much. Kelly, unfazed, is readying the release of a sequel to “Trapped in the Closet” and his publicist feels that “the truth will come out”. The truth being that the girl in question wishes R. hadn’t had asparagus before he used her as a urinal. Ugh.

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. sarah

    check out this funny conversation about lindsay, paris and others. i got a kick out of this. http://www.mypetpeeves.com/plog/index.php/archives/2434

  2. What?

    If she was 13 when it happened 5 years ago wouldn’t she be 18….?

  3. T-Bone

    “Damn! People in iron lungs could outlap this justice!”
    ——————————————-
    hilarious!

  4. Bunny

    he is a disgusting douched. I believe that even his own sister, despite his wealth, does not speak to him. I have never liked him. He just looks dirty!

    Iron lung!!! Bwahh

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