Vanessa Williams Tangles With Dognappers

May 31st, 2007 // 3 Comments

(WENN)

Sometimes the sun goes ’round the moon! Sometimes you’ve been writing so much about Lindsay Lohan that you will take the first non-Lohan story that comes up! Even if it’s about a disgraced Miss America and her paranoia about a potential dog-napping cult. The “Ugly Betty” diva’s dog recently disappeared and Vanessa suspects a conspiracy. A conspiracy of dog thieves!

The pooch-loving former Miss America discovered her dog’s disappearance on Memorial Day after returning from running errands to find that the one-year-old black and tan Yorkshire terrier had gone missing from her fenced-in yard.

Williams quickly filed a missing-dog report–yes, such things do exist–with the Mount Pleasant police and began floating her dognapping theory, which is possibly supported by the disappearance last month of another local well-bred pup.

Buffeting her theory, the 44-year-old also told police that she spotted a suspicious looking man driving around her property earlier in the day.

Dude, I was looking for a Dunkie’s. Paranoid bitch. The local chief of police thinks Vanessa’s looney-tunes and says that it was probably coyotes that carried off her dog. Oh, that’s better. Hysterically laughing scavengers running through yards with sharp teeth and carrying off any living thing that they can overpower. I’d rather the satanic dognappers.

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. dtd

    It happens, My dog was stolen from my yard (in Malibu). A chef saw some gardeners trying to sell him. He talked them into giving him the dog to find the real owners(b/c he totally knew he wasn’t theirs). By some miracle we got him back.

  2. Shazza

    I think you meant hyena, J.
    Coyotes don’t laugh…they kinda howl and shit.

    Regardless, I find it amazing that this woman has made such a long lating career out of losing her crown for getting her tits out…

  3. Shazza

    I think you meant hyena, J.
    Coyotes don’t laugh…they kinda howl and shit.

    Regardless, I find it amazing that this woman has made such a long lasting career out of losing her crown for getting her tits out…

Leave A Comment