Vanessa Williams Tangles With Dognappers


Sometimes the sun goes ’round the moon! Sometimes you’ve been writing so much about Lindsay Lohan that you will take the first non-Lohan story that comes up! Even if it’s about a disgraced Miss America and her paranoia about a potential dog-napping cult. The “Ugly Betty” diva’s dog recently disappeared and Vanessa suspects a conspiracy. A conspiracy of dog thieves!

The pooch-loving former Miss America discovered her dog’s disappearance on Memorial Day after returning from running errands to find that the one-year-old black and tan Yorkshire terrier had gone missing from her fenced-in yard.

Williams quickly filed a missing-dog report–yes, such things do exist–with the Mount Pleasant police and began floating her dognapping theory, which is possibly supported by the disappearance last month of another local well-bred pup.

Buffeting her theory, the 44-year-old also told police that she spotted a suspicious looking man driving around her property earlier in the day.

Dude, I was looking for a Dunkie’s. Paranoid bitch. The local chief of police thinks Vanessa’s looney-tunes and says that it was probably coyotes that carried off her dog. Oh, that’s better. Hysterically laughing scavengers running through yards with sharp teeth and carrying off any living thing that they can overpower. I’d rather the satanic dognappers.