Unqualified with J. Harvey: Weight Watchers = Possible Misery

Hey guys! Thanks again for logging on and reading Unqualified every week, all six of you. A friend of mine recently mentioned that he thinks I always side with the letter writer. He’s probably right. I’m totally untrustworthy, and am usually so floored that someone is actually asking me for advice that I’ll usually side with them. You could probably be the Night Stalker or have driven your children into a lake and I’d be like “well, their clothes needed washing anyway and think of the insurance payout!”

This week we have another gal with a poison friendship. Sometimes people from Team Chunk can get vicious. Believe me, I’m one of them. Keep reading.

Hey guys! Thanks again for logging on and reading Unqualified every week, all six of you. A friend of mine recently mentioned that he thinks I always side with the letter writer. He’s probably right. I’m totally untrustworthy, and am usually so floored that someone is actually asking me for advice that I’ll usually side with them. You could probably be the Night Stalker or have driven your children into a lake and I’d be like “well, their clothes needed washing anyway and think of the insurance payout!”This week we have another gal with a poison friendship. Sometimes people from Team Chunk can get vicious. Believe me, I’m one of them.Dear J, I moved across Canada a few years ago for work. i made a few friends, but most of them were men. In order to expand my friend circle (and truthfully, lose some extra ass i have) I joined weight watchers. I made a few friends there. One of them is a 40 year old woman I’ll call A.  A is very overweight and is extremely insecure. This caused her to latch onto me like a barnacle. It was  insane. She literally called me twenty times a day. I finally got fed up and statred avoiding her. Time went on, and she stopped bugging me. Then, about a year later, she contacted me out of the blue and apologized for being a freak. I felt sorry for her and we started hanging out again (yes, i know that was stupid). She was fine for awhile, but then got weird again. She’s not stalking me  (yet anyway). What happened was, I started to notice that she makes a lot of snide remarks at my expense in front of other people. She fishes for compliments from me and then makes snotty remarks about my lokks/accomplishments etc… Quite frankly, she acts jealous. I feel like a tool saying that. I’m not a rich famous supermodel or anything so what she is jealous of, who knows. She also won’t introduce me to her other friends, but the friends of mine I’ve intoduced her to she has glommed onto and is always bugging me to go out with us (no thanks). my question is: How the hell do I get away from her stank? I’m sick of screening my calls and I don;t want to set her off on a rampage. She can be vindictive. Please help, I’m at a loss and I don’t want to be mean to her. I just want to get away from her.Thanks,Contemplating joining the witness protection programDear Contemplating,Oh, Canada! I love our neighbors to the North. I know Canadians will hate me saying this but I always feel like it’s a Bizarro version of the US. And sometimes better. A – you guys seems way more comfy with homos than they do down here (Montreal is at least) and B – poutine at McDonald’s! ‘Nuff said.Anyway, Two Ton Tessie over there has evil a’brewin in her heart. Her insecurity about her weight and other issues has turned her into what they term in the hip-hop community (and Brooke Hogan’s MySpace) a “hater.” She’s got fish entrails for a soul and has to be avoided at all costs.Your BIG mistake was letting her fat ass back into your life. But you’ve acknowledged that, so I can’t browbeat you for it. What do your OTHER friends say? Are they happy she’s always coming around with her bottle of Luna Di Luna (worst wine ever) and Cranium?If your crew feel the same way you do, a united front is best. If EVERYONE starts screening and avoiding, she’ll get the hint again and move on to more hateful pastures. If not, you may have to keep the screening and avoidance up a little bit more. As for her being vindictive? You sound like you have your shit together way more than her. You need to focus on that, and let whatever sad comments drooling out of her venom lips just roll off your back.Oh, and go to a different Weight Watchers meeting. Just a thought.Please keep sending me tales of evil heavy people to harvey.advice@gmail.com! I love your e-mails!Please note that J. Harvey is not a childcare specialist, priest, therapist, counselor, or even a good listener. In other words, don’t sue.