Tyra Obsessing Over Scary Photos of Her

January 30th, 2007 // 2 Comments

Tyra’s freaking the f*ck out about those bathing suit pics of her and staging televised demonstrations about how they’re inaccurate. Hell, I probably would be too. I’m entirely unphotogenic and I appear to weigh about 350 in all my pictures and if my shit were broadcast all over the place I’d throw a goddamn wobbly. And she’s right, it’s all just bad angles. BAD ANGLES! Shut up! Haters.

On this Thursday’s episode of her eponymous show, Tyra dons the same swimsuit in an attempt to prove that the photos and headlines were wrong — claiming that they were taken at a bad angle.

One of the hot things about being a television celebrity with your own show is that you have a national forum to refute photographic evidence that you’re a heifer. The most I can do is bitch on this blog that no one reads except you, my dear dear reader. Or possibly jump off a building into traffic wearing a sash that reads “I’m Not Fat, Happy Now?” as I crush a bus with my fat Irish ass.


By J. Harvey

  1. umus

    I can’t honestly find anything disgusting about Tyra Banks new look even in that bikini outfit. Tyra please take heart. It’s one of those hicups we face in life that tends to discourage us from what we feel comfortable with. I believe one day, you will become a model for “Real Woman’s Body”.

    I am a Nigerian, I saw what the proposal of the “King” to you. I mean he is being truthful and he likes you body, because you are real.

  2. maureen

    Big smooches right on your big Irish arse, J.Harvey! Ever since this whole protesting too much thing began with TyTy McPorkchop, I have been waiting for your commentary–Thanks!

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