Tyra Obsessing Over Scary Photos of Her
Tyra’s freaking the f*ck out about those bathing suit pics of her and staging televised demonstrations about how they’re inaccurate. Hell, I probably would be too. I’m entirely unphotogenic and I appear to weigh about 350 in all my pictures and if my shit were broadcast all over the place I’d throw a goddamn wobbly. And she’s right, it’s all just bad angles. BAD ANGLES! Shut up! Haters.
On this Thursday’s episode of her eponymous show, Tyra dons the same swimsuit in an attempt to prove that the photos and headlines were wrong — claiming that they were taken at a bad angle.
One of the hot things about being a television celebrity with your own show is that you have a national forum to refute photographic evidence that you’re a heifer. The most I can do is bitch on this blog that no one reads except you, my dear dear reader. Or possibly jump off a building into traffic wearing a sash that reads “I’m Not Fat, Happy Now?” as I crush a bus with my fat Irish ass.