Trump Trying To Round Up Unholy Skank Trio

Comb-over maniac Donald Trump is having crazy delusions that he can get Britney, Paris and Lohan onto his new celebrity version of “The Apprentice”. The world still hasn’t recovered since those three trashbags went out on the town together. They’d probably destroy my television. With sin!

The Donald tells Page Six he’s talking with Britney Spears about appearing on his upcoming “Celebrity Apprentice,” and that Paris Hilton has also expressed an interest in being scrutinized by the mega-mogul. He’s also planning to call Lindsay Lohan this week to see if she’d be willing to try to salvage her plummeting career on the show.

“We’re negotiating with Britney right now. Can you imagine her doing it?” Trump told Page Six. “We’re not sure what will happen. She’s a [bleep]ing mess. And that little reality show she had did nothing. But she likes the idea of being on television and I think she’d be great.” Hilton, he adds, “wants to be on, and we’re thinking about it, but I don’t know if we’re going to do it.”

I don’t see this happening, unless he’s having a free cocaine giveaway at every taping. Paris is reportedly in talks to appear on the UK’s version of “Big Brother” which is like a cultural phenomenon over there. So hopefully the Brits will learn to despise her as much as we do. Lohan’s in Mormon Country tanning, I mean rehabbing. And Britney is batshit crazy and talking to Jesus through the microwave. This plan is not coming together.