Tori Spelling’s Fiance Is An Idiot

March 17th, 2006 // 44 Comments

Need I say more?

By Miu von Furstenberg

  1. tia

    That relationship is now doomed.

  2. beautifulatrocities

    Does it come with a special stencil for the biannual plastic surgery adjustments?

  3. Candice

    And to get THAT face???!!!!! Oh my!

  4. Kelsey

    Is it just me, or did she get engaged like the minute she got divorced?

  5. Giadana

    Notice it’s in a place where he doesn’t actually have to look at it himself.
    It’s all part of his master plan to have her so duped there’ll be no prenup.

  6. DK

    Guess he has to go Overboard to pretend he gives a Shit about that UGLY BITCH … but , with her WEALTHY , AGING PARENTS , and his desire for the money … guess he’ll do ANYTHING. He still can have BOYS on the Side … the Skank will never Know.

  7. justMe

    Oh no. just think about it, she probably asked him to get it! lol, BUT SHE DEFINITELY ASKED HIM TO RESIZE HER BOOBS AFTER SHE SAW IT COMPLETED!!!
    u can easily tell that the boobs were revised and resized. what a jok! that’s really low.

  8. Gibsdee

    WOW~ The artwork is fantastic!

  9. lisa

    I agree, the artwork looks better than the source.

  10. KittyLiterati

    Why on earth would anyone want a likeness of Tori Spelling that can’t be shoved out of an upper-story window without bringing considerable harm to oneself?

    And does that guy have different-colored eyes or what?

  11. Netty

    That is the funniest thing I have EVER seen in My life! OMG! Classic!

  12. actually, by hollywood standards he is very smart

    between this one and Marc Jacobs boi toi, I think this is the rumblings of a trend

  13. maryanne29

    I just have to wonder about the thought process that was involved in getting that tatoo. In other words, how much alcohol was consumed?

    Not only is an idiot, he has no morals and is in serious need of Lasik surgery.

  14. Cheesy

    No, she didn’t get engaged just as soon as she got divorced–THEY both were engaged *before* they were divorced, right after they filed and broke up their respective homes (him, in the process, leaving two tiny children).

    I wish them all the happiness they deserve together. Which is about none.

    And all I can say about the title of this post is, DUH! I mean, it’s Tori Spelling and some dirtbag–like there was any chance she’d end up with a brain surgeon, and not an idiot, LOL?

  15. Shannon

    C-L-A-S-S. That’s right up there with a naked chick riding a sword. Her boobs should be more pendulous – maybe to his elbow?

  16. Dave

    Hi there,

    I’m Canadian, and like all Canadians, I have not a fucking clue who the hell Tori’s fiance is. Apparently he’s from here, but make no mistake, he’s not a celebrity. I may have seen him in a Canadian Tire commercial. Or not. Either way, do us a favour and stuff him wherever the hell you put Celine, Alan Thicke, Howie Mandel, and the rest of the Canadians we don’t want up here.

  17. Sparrow

    I think its cool how his elbow looks like her waist, but yeah the boobs are definately odd looking…

  18. That's so gross!!!!

    That’s just disturbing on so many levels. LOL! It’ll be a bitch to laser off after Tori dumps him in two months.

    Lawgirl–I agree with you on Tia. She seems to have some sort of bi-polarness going on when you read some of her post…..

  19. C

    I didn’t even notice the boob re-sizing! Great point – hilarious! What an idiot, I hope he’s prepared for the lazer removal process. Side note, is it just me or does Tori look a lot better in these pictures aside from the fact that her dress is ugly?

  20. Bandy

    It looks like Elizabeth Shue.

  21. tocutetoscoot

    She can have him, he’s a dork!

  22. tocutetoscoot

    She can have him, he’s a dork!

  23. Small Fry

    Why would he get a tattoo of a horse on his arm? Is he an equestrian?

  24. mecccii

    ummmm, so is she going to get the mullet head on her arm? cause THAT would be true love.

  25. Loulou

    Smart, maybe …. but an asshole. He left his wife and two kids, one just a two-month old baby, for Tori Spelling. That’s fine, shit happens, I suppose. But how sensitive to get your new girlfriend’s mug tattooed on your arm after devastating your wife and kids — really classy.

  26. FunMe

    Her fiance is an idiot. The again maybe not. He’s working her so that he can then get married to her and her $$$. Hello, her dad is Aaron Spelling, one of the riches Hollywood guys. So even if he marries her and then divorces, with or without a prenup, he sure will come out ahead. And that tatoo will be well worth it! ;-)

  27. Pam

    No, you don’t have to say more…what an idiot~

  28. King Smart Ian

    She’s marrying Dalton from Roadhouse?

  29. Caliban

    He isn’t an idiot he will never have to work again in his life. Now, he may be obtuse but it has nothing to do with the tattoo or marrying her.

    The art however is very well drawn and even made her look better.

  30. y'all are haters

    The tattoo is really well done and it is a lovely gesture. You bitches are all jealous that you aren’t rich and don’t have a man that loves you enough to do something like that. You old haggard housewives are jealous bitches.

  31. #28(King Smart Ian): Marry me!

  32. Alexandra

    My sister and I have known Dean for many years, and he is a really sweet guy. He’s been an actor here in Toronto forever. I think that he and Tori look very nice together, and who knows? Maybe they have found their match. I wish them both the best!

  33. Silasdog

    I am sorry I saw this picture of these two mutants. I know I will wake up screaming in the middle of the night. I mean comon, they’re a poster couple for Twisted Gene Pool Association, headquarted in West Virginia. PS. the remarks here are hilarious, you people rock, you really crack me up.

  34. Grace

    She’s such an ugly dog.

  35. velvett1

    “She’s such an ugly dog.”

    Posted by Grace at March 17, 2006

    ……Who let the dog out????

  36. MC

    Ummmm…..Ok….Is it just me or does the “hubby to be” seem to pose like Zoolander in every picture I see of them together?

  37. fairmaidenvoyage

    Whats up with her eyes. I personally think she has major thyroid problems. Dayum that chick is FUGLY. and him!! OY! what a greaser. My dog has better taste… ugh!!

  38. anne

    He looks like one of the Baldwin brothers…sheesh is Tori ever going to get rid of that fugged up Jew nose??? She can not pull it off …period.

  39. cathryn

    WOAH – no reason to say “Jew nose” anne…socialite life is about hating on celebrities but not getting all white supremacist like.

  40. las

    I love that even her tattoo has gotten plastic surgery — a boob job! It’s hysterical. If they produce a kid, the unlucky kid will probably be wailing for baby fat liposuction before learning how to walk.

    Yeppers, nothing says “class” like getting an enormous tattoo of your sugar momma. With the vast divorce settlement he’s going to get, he can afford to have it lasered off.

  41. Debbie

    She continues to complain that she’s not taken seriously. She did the right thing for a couple of years, found a nice guy, got married and acted mature. Now she’s back to acting like an imature, self-centered wannabe and she found a duplicate in her “man”. She had a chance to clean up her life and she screwed that up.

  42. Peg

    I can’t belive that he’d leave his perfectly lovely (and deliciously bitchy – she had the BEST cooking show ever!) wife for Tori Spelling. The man needs to have his head examined!

  43. JMash

    On behalf of Australia, I would like to say;

    That horse-faced troll deserves whatever bastard she fancies. I bet he wished she looked like the chick on his arm. Love you Tori, and Mr. Man….. you make everyone look just a little bit better today….

    Celebrities. Cant live with em, cant stalk them and knife their shitty rare-breed cats…

  44. Okay, yeah, Dean is being a huge idiot here. At least on Due South his idiosyncrasies were funny. This is just plain stupid. Who in their right mind would go out with a bitch like that? Letalone put a tattoo on so soon? And in any case, the only names/likenesses/etc. that should be put on as a tattoo in a case like this should be children, parents, siblings, etc. that will always be relative. I don’t think anyone sees this relationship lasting. Except for maybe poor Dean & his idiot fiance.

    Oh yeah… and I think it’s kinda funny that Tori is apparently pregnant, but doesn’t appear that way in any of her photos. At RedSuitsYou, we prefer to believe that is a ploy to keep Dean.

    (How can you not know who Dean is, especially if you are Canadian? He played the character of Constable Turnbull in the show Due South [ended 1998] along side Paul Gross, Gordon Pinset, Camila Scott, David Marciano, and Leslie Nielsen. I’m American, and I know that!!)

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