Ohmigod! Katie Holmes To Run In J. Harvey’s City!

January 10th, 2008 // 11 Comments

Katie Holmes is coming to Boston! Does she want to have lunch? She has registered for the Boston Marathon. This could actually be the moment when she puts her plan to escape Tom into motion! The boyfriend and I will hide you out, Katie! Run to our place! Pull a Rosie Ruiz and hop your ass onto the T and we’ll spirit you to safety! We have a guestroom and plenty of DVD’s for you to watch! I don’t know what we’ll do with Suri because kids make me nervous. Does she like the “Young and the Restless”? We have that on the DVR. And I have vodka. Do kids like that? Oh, and she also said at the LA premiere of her flick “Mad Money” that she was “happy” for Nicole Kidman and her pregnancy. Yeah, happy because you got the other two kids she used to have! Here’s Katie and Tom Cruise looking like Norma Desmond and her gay manservant.

Update: Uh wait a sec, People is saying her rep says it isn’t true. Oh jesus, she found out I live here didn’t she? Well fine, I didn’t want you staying at my apartment anyway! This isn’t the Underground Railroad for Scientology Wives!

Photos: WENN

More photos of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes leaving Cut restaurant are after the jump.

(Hint – Right-click on the image thumbnails with your mouse to open them in a new tab or window.)

Photos: WENN

By J. Harvey

  1. Zekers

    I had to kick my door shut I was laughing so hard at your post!
    J. Harvey, that was wicked funny!!!

  2. Ha!

    What the hell she think she is?! Nicole?! Never.

  3. DruNken LauRen

    J. my man, your ass in deep shit, now how you gonna get out of this one????….. she is coming to get you w/her XENU stuff and such… LOLOLOL

    you and your man can come to Texas if they try to get you two… its one thing to get in deep shit but to drag another human being, that is too cool for me, i gots to laugh…. OMAF

  4. Hey Cupcake

    How the hell? Doesn’t every participant need to qualify for the Boston Marathon? A 6-hour marathon time is NOT going to get you into Boston.

    True or not, people should quit blaspheming the Boston Marathon. >:-(

  5. PinkWeenie

    Yep, Kaite got the two kids Nicole doesn’t want anymore because they aren’t really “hers.”

    I’d rather have Katie for a mother any day than that cold fish Nicole and her junkie husband.

  6. darklady189

    I love you, J. Harvey.

  7. Dianne

    That was the funniest frickin post I’ve read yet on this site!! “Does she want to have lunch?” I was getting all excited for day-to-day updates on Katie’s Bawston Adventure!

    Bummer that it won’t happen.

  8. 2 Old 4 This

    Hey Cupcake – not TRUE!!

    Katie finished NYC Marathon in 5hrs 29min.

    According to the BAA, that is 1 minute under the qualifying time -

    for a woman OVER 80

    Katie – God speed ya tired old hag

  9. Amber

    I heart me some J. Harvey.


  10. Dianne

    OMG! I just clicked on the 4th picture. I can’t believe the stilletos Tommy is wearing! Way higher than any I own.

  11. Kate

    In order to qualify, she’d need to have run a 3:45 marathon in the past two years. If Tom gets any creepier, she may pick up her pace a bit and qualify.

    You can also run Boston if you register with a team for charity. Aaaaand maybe if you’re famous.

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