Tom Cruise to Teach David Beckham How to Deal with the Media

Which is a fabulous idea, seeing as how Tom’s done such a great job of maintaining the image of a cool, calm and NOT crazy individual. Space ships! Lasers! Thetans! I love this woman! But seriously, Tom’s honestly been lending his experience as a high-profile celebrity in the United States to his new buddy, David Beckham.

“He’s got a squeaky Cockney accent normally and he talked into his chest. While wife Victoria could turn on the charm, David always looked uncomfortable with that side of fame and preferred to do his talking on the pitch. But Tom’s being drumming into him that Americans expect their stars to be able to be all-singing , all-dancing .”

Tom’s also got David doing the whole big throwing out his arms thing to big crowds. OMG, David is so going to join Tom’s cult. These are all tests to see if David will listen to Tom’s instructions. The minute we see David jumping up onto Oprah’s lap (a couch would be too predictable, guys) and declaring his love for his wife, Victoria, is the day that the aliens get purged from the Earth and we can all roam free amongst the gummy bear rain forest, finally able to live in harmony amongst the Care Bears and mystical dragons.


More photos of TomKat after the jump.