Tom Cruise REALLY Into David Beckham I Mean Soccer

June 22nd, 2007 // 7 Comments

Sources say that Tom Cruise is looking to purchase Becks’ soccer team, the L.A. Galaxy, for 80 million. Damn. That’s some scratch. Is soccer that popular? Granted, soccer players can be hotsy, but does Xenu approve of this? Tom better sublimate his gay lust into more preaching against psychiatry instead of spending that much cheddar on blond guys. Or Xenu will smite him with a laser bolt. From the Death Star. It’s orbiting Uranus.

The Hollywood actor is a huge soccer fan and wants to give his financial backing to the Los Angeles Galaxy.

A source said: “To have Tom’s backing would be amazing – there’s no way Galaxy bosses would turn down that opportunity.”

Beckham signed for Galaxy this January on a reported 128 million five-year deal although he doesn’t start playing for them until next month.

Becks better keep in mind that Cruise ownership comes with Scientology lectures. And jock checks.

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. Jeanie

    Ha ha. I LOVE that picture you posted here. The woman standing behind Tom Cruise looking aghast is priceless.

  2. Why does that seem so creepy to me? Oh, because it is.

  3. joker

    You’re a fucking genius man! Keep the laughs coming!

  4. i feel a bitch slap fest coming on.

  5. shadygoddess13

    Uh oh, he’s wearing his “I love Katie she is so amazing/beautiful” fist. But it’s not for Katie, it’s for Becks!! ahh!! Stalker, much?

  6. stolidog

    so, is the Cher and the pizza boy (and the cruise penetration mode) rumor true? it’s seeming more and more and more plausible.

  7. yibala

    becks is the king.

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