Tom Cruise To Bring His Crazy Fakeness Back To Oprah

Hopefully she’s gotten Scotchgard for the sofa since then. Tom Cruise will jump on Oprah Winfrey’s couch again for a two part episode during May sweeps. One part will be shot in front of Oprah’s devoted live audience, and the second will be shot at Tom’s Teluride, Colorado mountain retreat. Hopefully Oprah will have her tinfoil helmet on under her weave to keep out the Xenu waves.

Tom’s appearance will commemorate Risky Business’ 25th anniversary. Was that film really that seminal? It featured a closet case dancing around in his underwear. He’s not even a good dancer. We have evidence.

This will be Tom’s first appearance on Oprah since May 2005 when he celebrated Katie Holmes signing the contract to work as his wife and supposedly mother a child for him. I’m still not convinced that Suri isn’t from Romania. That was when he first showed the world that he was buckwild crazy and maybe he’s not exactly on the up and up just because he made Top Gun.