Tom Cruise Can’t Wait To Wed Katie

April 26th, 2006 // 17 Comments

When there is no couch to jump on, that clever Tom Cruise finds the nearest thing to hop on to. It’s a good thing there weren’t any sexual toys laying about.

Tom Cruise has confirmed plans for his marriage to Katie Holmes are well underway.
The Hollywood star and Holmes, who had their first child, Suri, last week, have been engaged since last year but were waiting for their baby to arrive before proceeding with wedding plans.

Cruise also reveals his fiancée will have total control of organizing the special day.

He says, “That stuff is actually going to happen in the next couple of weeks. We are going to decide where and when and how. “Really whatever Kate wants, you know.”

Most of all, the actor is impatient to be able to call Holmes his wife. He adds, “I can’t wait till we get married. I can’t wait till I can call and say, ‘Hey, you know, put my wife on the phone.’”

He’s been able to use that phrase twice before. In regards to Katie having anything she wants; she can have anything as long as it’s Scientology approved.

More photos of Tom Cruise smiling, after the jump.

Cruise: ‘Wedding Preparations Underway Soon’ []

By Miu von Furstenberg

  1. tia

    I personally cant wait for their wedding either. They just look so cute to me. I know everyone will get mad at me for saying this but, im pro tomkat !!! Oh and I already bought my tickets to MI:3 .. I bought the last few. Their already sold out in my town. Sorry guys .. Tom I love you man :)

  2. tia

    BTW .. the people in my town are not crazy. I live in New York. So im not the only pro tomkat chick out there. Thank God :) I thought I was alone.

  3. …you may now kiss the beard.

  4. las

    “I can’t wait to say, ‘Put my wife on the phone! The hetero one!’”

    Try a little harder, Tom. You’re still not convincing.

  5. d.c.

    HOWEVER.. if he’d walk on water, he’d sink..

  6. d.c.

    HOWEVER.. if he’d walk on a puddle of water, he’d sink..

  7. justMe

    Gooaaa….let this nightmare be over!
    he’s so fucking filthy rich already and he has to promote this sucky movie allover the world in the first week that ‘his’ baby’s been born???
    He’s so desperate for attention it makes me sick.
    I don’t want to hear about him anymore. He’s crazy.

  8. las

    Justme, you don’t think it was by coincidence that the baby was born in a “publicity week”, do you? :)

    I feel for little Suri. Someday she’ll do the math and figure out that her birth was timed specially for one of Daddy’s forgettable movies.

  9. blondEE

    las, you mean when she finds out she was stolen from her birth parents? haha

    this guy is so lame. i can’t believe that he is keeping up the charade. i am most interested in seeing what the pre-nup has to say.

    and the other interesting aspect…where are katie’s parents. somewhere i did read her mom was in florida when the baby was born, coincidence, i think not.

    tia, btw, everyone stopped listening to you a million t.c. posts ago, b/c we don’t care

  10. ohpleaze


    Let me fill you in honey. Tom is gay. Katie is bought and paid for. Suri is the spawn of L. Ron Hubbard’s frozen joy juice. Scientologists are dangerous and crazy deluded lunatics.

    Get with it dear

  11. christina_the_wench

    Yes, knock-up the girl then marry her. That’s something to be proud of. Revel in your morals, Tommy boy. I guess it should be “pretend” knock-up the girl. My bad.

  12. vbrat

    anyone ever notice Tom has played essentially the same character since Risky Business? Also, how involved is Nicole with the older kids? hard to believe that Katie is so desperate to be a hit in hollywood that she is going along with all this Tom nonsense. I don’t feel at all sympathetic for her; she is a big girl and can make her own decisions. Tom is such an automaton he is scary.

  13. KT

    Suri’s first songs will probably be Danger Zone and Cocktail.”Katie got ya jumpin off a deck, shovin it in into overdrive…take a ride into the danger zone!” (courtesy of Kenny Loggins)”Aruba, Jaimaica, oh I want take you to Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama. Key Largo, Montego where will Tommy Crusieboat go next (The Beach Boys) Oh the wonderful 80′s

  14. Travolta

    Tom said Toledo, OH is said to be opening The Thomas Cruise Church of Scientology so Katie can come back to her hometown and also not have to leave her religion behind.

  15. KT

    oops I meant he would play Kokomo for Suri, Cocktail was the movie he was in (blockbuster hit of 1988!)

  16. Jessie Williams

    I think the way to better understand his alien highness (Cruise) is to look at his Scientology.
    Interesting read:
    Penthouse Interview with L. Ron Hubbard, Jr. (Founder of Scientology’s Son)
    Penthouse/June 1983
    Some highlights:

    Penthouse: Why do you think it’s so risky?
    Hubbard: My father drilled into all of us: Don’t go to court thinking to win a lawsuit. You go to court to harass, to delay, to exhaust the enemy financially, physically, mentally. You file every motion you can think of and you just lock them up in court. The courts, for my father, were never used to seek justice or redress, put to destroy the people he thought were enemies, to prevent negative stories from appearing. He just wanted complete control of the press –and got it.
    Penthouse: What exactly is Scientology?
    Hubbard: Scientology is a power-and-money-and-intelligence-gathering game. To use common, everyday English, Scientology says that you and I and everybody else willed ourselves into being hundreds of trillions of years ago –just by deciding to be. We willed ourselves into being ourselves. Through wild space games, interaction, fights, and wars in the grand science-fiction tradition, we created this universe –all the matter, energy, space, and time of this universe. And so through these trillions of years, we have become the effect of our own cause and we now find ourselves trapped in bodies. So the idea of Scientology “auditing” or ‘counseling” or “processing” is to free yourself from your body and to return you to the original godlike state or, in Scientology jargon, an operating Thetan –O.T. We are all fallen gods, according to Scientology, and the goal is to be returned to that state.
    Penthouse: And what is the Church of Scientology?
    Hubbard: It’s one of my father’s many organizations. It was formed in 1953, basically to avoid the harassment of my father by the medical profession and the IRS. The idea of Scientology didn’t really exist before that point as a religion, but my father hit upon turning it into a church after he started feeling pressured.
    Penthouse: Didn’t your father have any interest in helping people?

    Hubbard: No.
    Penthouse: Never?
    Hubbard: My father started out as a broke science-fiction writer. He was always broke in the late 1940s. He told me and a lot of other people that the way to make a million was to start a religion. Then he wrote the book Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health while he was in Bayhead, New Jersey. When we later visited Bayhead, in about 1953, we were walking around and reminiscing –he told me that he had written the book in one month.

    Penthouse: There was no church when he wrote the book?
    Hubbard: Oh, no, no. You see, his goal was basically to write the book, take the money and run. But in 1950, this was the first major book of do-it-yourself psychotherapy, and it became a runaway best-seller. He kept getting, literally, mail trucks full of mail. And so he and some other people, including J. W. Campbell, the editor of Astounding Science Fiction, started the Dianetics Research Foundation in Elizabeth, New Jersey. And the post office kept backing up and just dumping mail sacks into the building. The foundation had a staff that just ran through the envelopes and threw away anything that didn’t have any money in it.
    Penthouse: People sent money?
    Hubbard: Yeah, they wanted training and further Dianetic auditing, Dianetic processing. It was just an incredible avalanche.
    Penthouse: Did he write the book off the top of his head? Did he do any real research?
    Hubbard: No research at all.
    Penthouse: Did your father do this just for money?
    Hubbard: Yes. The more he made, the more he wanted. He became greedy. He was really just interested in the use of money and power, wherever it was or whomsoever it was. Morality and politics made no difference to him at all.
    Penthouse: Where did all this money come from? How much did it cost to be audited, in Scientology parlance?
    Hubbard: It cost as much as a person had. He had to stay in the organization, getting audited higher and higher, until he paid us as much as he had. People would sell their house, their car, convert their stocks and securities into cash, and turn it all over to Scientology.
    Penthouse: What did you promise them for this price?
    Hubbard: We promised them the moon and then demonstrated a way to get there. They would sell their soul for that. We were telling someone that they could have the power of a god –that’s what we were telling them.
    Penthouse: What kind of people were tempted by this promise?
    Hubbard: A whole range of people. People who wanted to raise their IQ, to feel better, to solve their problems. You also got people who wished to lord it over other people in the use of power. Remember, it’s a power game, a matter of climbing a pyramidal hierarchy to the top, and it’s who you can step on to get more power that counts. It appeals a great deal to neurotics. And to people who are greedy. It appeals a great deal to Americans, I think, because they tend to believe in instant everything, from instant coffee to instant nirvana. By just saying a few magic words or by doing a few assignments, one can become a god. People believe this. You see, Scientology doesn’t really address the soul; it addresses the ego. What happens in Scientology is that a person’s ego gets pumped up by this science-fiction fantasy helium into universe-sized proportions. And this is very appealing. It is especially appealing to the intelligentsia of this country, who are made to feel that they are the most highly intelligent people, when in actual fact, from an emotional standpoint, they are completely stupid. Fine professors, doctors, scientists, people involved in the arts and sciences, would fall into Scientology like you wouldn’t believe. It appealed to their intellectual level and buttressed their emotional weaknesses. You show me a professor and I revert back to the fifties: I just kick him in the head, eat him for breakfast.
    (My mother was lying on the bed and my father was sitting on her, facing her feet. He had a coat hanger in his hand. There was blood all over the place.)
    Penthouse: Did it attract young people as much as cults today?
    Hubbard: Yes. We attracted quite a few hippies but we tried to stay a way from them, because they didn’t have any money.
    Penthouse: A poor man can’t be a Scientologist?
    Hubbard: No, oh no.

    Penthouse: What do you think of the great popularity of cults in this country?
    Hubbard: I think they’re very dangerous and destructive. I don’t think that anyone should think for you. And that’s exactly what cults do. All cults, including Scientology, say, “I am your mind, I am your brain. I’ve done all the work for you, I’ve laid the path open for you. All you have to do is turn your mind off and walk down the path I have created.” Well, I have learned that there’s great strength in diversity, that a clamorous discussion or debate is very healthy and should be encouraged. That’s why I like our political setup in the United States: simply because you can fight and argue and jump up and down and shout and scream and have all kinds of viewpoints, regardless of how wrongheaded or ridiculous they might be. People here don’t have to give up their right to perceive things the way they believe. Scientology and all the other cults are one-dimensional, and we live in a three-dimensional world. Cults are as dangerous as drugs. They commit the highest crime: the rape of the soul.
    Penthouse: Do you mean killed?
    Hubbard: Well, he didn’t really want people killed, because how could you really destroy them if you just killed them? What he wanted to do was to destroy their lives, their families, their reputations, their jobs, their money, everything. My father was the type of person who, when it came to destruction, wanted to keep you alive for as long as possible, to torture you, punish you. If he chose to destroy you, he would love to see you lying in the gutter, strung out on booze and drugs, rolling in your own vomit, with your wife and children gone forever: no job, no money. He’d enjoy walking by and kicking you and saying to other people, “Look what I did to this man!” He’s the kind of man who would pull the wings off flies and watch them stumble around. You see, this fits in with his Scientology beliefs, also. He felt that if you just died, your spirit would go out and get another body to live in. By destroying an enemy that way, you’d be doing him a favor. You were letting him out from under the thumb of L. Ron. Hubbard, you see?

  17. lisa

    Are you people serious? This crap is such a joke. Tom Cruise and whatever that girls name he just had a baby out of wedlock with are so out of touch with reality. They do not live in the real world. Raising a baby for them is not quite the same as the average joe having a baby. Tom Cruise fighting for Scientology, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt fighting for all the poverty in the world. Why don’t some of these celebrities that work so hard for all of these ridiculous causes do something for the people in America. Why do they not speak up for us or something crazy like that. There are starving people in America you know. But if you are not primitive looking and live in a third world country then none of these “peaceseekers” can do anything for you. Lets address some real issue like oh I don’t know the price of GAS maybe!!!!!!!!!!!!

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