Tom Cruise Tries Too Hard

Here’s Tom Cruise with his adopted kids Isabella and Connor taking in some soccer. They attended the LA Galaxy game on Saturday. He’s obviously still trying to land some Beckham ass, either for his crazy church or for some personal spelunking.

These kids have totally forgotten about old Mommy Nicole Kidman, haven’t they? That’s sad. Nicole Kidman, come get your kids!

He really tries hard to be normal Dad guy. You can see it in his face. “I MUST APPEAR HAPPY AND AVERAGE AT ALL COSTS!” But the crazy just wants to spill. He wants to laugh a lot and talk about how pulling over to help pedestrians is what Xenu needs us all to do.

Everyone’s buzzing about the two-part Oprah Winfrey interview that’s going to air on May 2 and 5. Sources say that Oprah didn’t pull any punches (good) and asked him about the couch-jumping, Scientology, his spat with Matt Lauer and Katie and Suri. I doubt this will be a Howard Stern moment so I’m sure she couched those questions in some cottony softness.

These revelations came out while Oprah, who’s one busy matron, did a joint interview with Cher and Tina Turner in Vegas at Caesar’s Palace. Her show is totally going to be gay for May. Tom Cruise, Cher, Tina Turner? Who’s next? Johnny Trav, Wentworth Miller and Better Midler?

Despite requesting that the audience not talk about what was said, people are human. One audience member revealed that Oprah mentioned Tom had taken her for a ride on his snowmobile in Telluride. That must have been rich. Please please please someone post that on YouTube stat.

Photos: Getty Images