Tom Cruise Missed His Calling As Closeted Gay Religious Nut Meglomaniac Tow Truck Driver


I shouldn’t hate completely on him. He did a good deed. But he’s always doing this stuff. Hasn’t he like, towed people’s boats to safety and rescued people from mob scenes and stuff? Maybe he’s really a nice guy despite the subterfuge and religious mania. Oh who am I kidding? It’s all so people won’t think he’s a wackjob. All in the name of PR! Jesus, I digress, huh? Tom Cruise, the fam and his bodyguard were driving around in Telluride, Colorado during the holidays when they came upon a woman who had run her car off the road into the snow. In Touch Weekly says that Tom pulled the Hummer over and he and the bodyguard pushed her car out of the snow. Tom Cruise is not a big guy so that bodyguard must be jacked. Tom spent the holidays with his wife Katie Holmes, daughters Suri and Isabella and son Conor. Isabella and Conor are the kids he’s reportedly turned against their mother, ex-wife Nicole Kidman. So that Good Samaritan act only goes so far.