Tom Cruise Missed His Calling As Closeted Gay Religious Nut Meglomaniac Tow Truck Driver

January 9th, 2008 // 7 Comments


I shouldn’t hate completely on him. He did a good deed. But he’s always doing this stuff. Hasn’t he like, towed people’s boats to safety and rescued people from mob scenes and stuff? Maybe he’s really a nice guy despite the subterfuge and religious mania. Oh who am I kidding? It’s all so people won’t think he’s a wackjob. All in the name of PR! Jesus, I digress, huh? Tom Cruise, the fam and his bodyguard were driving around in Telluride, Colorado during the holidays when they came upon a woman who had run her car off the road into the snow. In Touch Weekly says that Tom pulled the Hummer over and he and the bodyguard pushed her car out of the snow. Tom Cruise is not a big guy so that bodyguard must be jacked. Tom spent the holidays with his wife Katie Holmes, daughters Suri and Isabella and son Conor. Isabella and Conor are the kids he’s reportedly turned against their mother, ex-wife Nicole Kidman. So that Good Samaritan act only goes so far.

By J. Harvey

  1. londongrl

    OK – How gullible does Tom Cruise think we are? I don’t know anyone who’s saved as many people off the side of the road, and it’s always around the time of some PR crisis. Seriously, isn’t this like the fourth or fifth time??? It just happens to coincide with the release of the Andrew Morton book? FREAK!!!!!

  2. shadygoddess

    Yep, this guy is an obsessive PR freak. You’re an asshole, we know, so stop trying to CONvince us otherwise.

  3. Joxe Arkaitz

    You are just so full of sh*t. You believe all the lies in circulation about the man when he is just a good person who has entertained us for over 20 years with his movies. He is just normal. I wonder who is really nuts here. Probably the journalists who believe anything anyone invents and spread it around trying to create a new reality that is totally unreal…

  4. patsy

    hey Joxe, what level are you?

  5. goldend


  6. Sloane

    Totally fake. Book comes out, he’s saving people right and left. Not sure how he keeps finding all these people on the brink of danger.

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