Tom Cruise on Farts and Alien Bunkers

September 27th, 2007 // 7 Comments

Seriously, Scientology has a stance on just about everything. Actually, this first part isn’t Scientology-related. It’s about how a crew member passed gas during a moment of silence on the set of “Valkyrie” that was being taken before filming began. Tom Cruise felt that the act was disrespectful because the moment was intended to pay deference to the anti-Hitler soldiers portrayed in the film, according to source from the set, who dished to Britain’s Daily Star:

“Quite rightly, Tom is furious. We were filming at the Bendler Block in Germany where the anti-Nazis were executed.”

OK, I totally think that Tom was right to be pissed, since apparently, the moment of silence was being done to placate the German government, which has already been iffy on letting filming take place in Germany to begin with. But I love the fact that when they finally do fire the guy (you know it was a guy) who did it, he’ll have a great story to explain how he left his last job. But on to more interesting fare–alien bunkers. Reportedly, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are investing in millions of dollars to fortify their home in Colorado in case of alien attack. A tipster inside the Cruise inner circle has said that it will be a “self-contained underground system where up to 10 people can survive for years.” That’s so ridiculous because clearly, the zombies will have taken over the planet long before the aliens show up to anally probe us all. And to think that my science teachers thought I wasn’t paying attention…

By Lisa Timmons
asl

  1. Absolutely fantastic article. The more I read about “the Cruises” (did Katie even change her last name? Seems unlikely…) the more I realize how normal I am. Alien attacks? Come on. You are completely right… I’m much more terrified of zombies.

    Thanks for the laugh.
    -Katie

  2. simon

    Dlisted ran this yesterday with hilARIOUS commentary on how this was really a bath house for Tommy-girl.

  3. Meazy

    Is it STILL too early for World War II jokes?

  4. Oh man. Tom’s level of crazy makes me feel so sane! :D Thanks, Tom Cruise!

  5. shadygoddess13

    She always looks so pale and wan. Sad. You gotta watch out for those cultists… they take and take until there’s nothing left of you. If he was a Mormon and had converted her, she’d at least LOOK happy. LOL!

  6. Joxe Arkaitz

    It’s hilarious to see how easy is to brainwash people. The fart thing is a lie and Tom’s reps have denied the alien bunker story too. Apparently someone is busy inventing stories and throwing them to the press people. And the funniest thing is that they believe and publish them and part of the public fall in the trap too. I wonder who is crazy here…

  7. julierage

    Joxe i’ld say u’re the crazy one cos obviously his rep will deny it, that’s what they are paid for duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and i think u’re the one that’s fallen in the whole sham trap or a one of the many SCIENTOLOGIST paid to blog on every site, which are u?

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