Tom Brings A Dude Along On His Honeymoon

November 20th, 2006 // 6 Comments

Tom took his best man, senior Scientologist David Miscavige, 46, along on his honeymoon. No. Really? reports:

Tom Cruise yesterday took his best man on honeymoon with him and new wife Katie Holmes after their lavish but bizarre wedding in Italy.

The 44-year-old star was allegedly spotted hopping on a private jet to the Maldives with senior Scientologist David Miscavige, 46, as other boozed-up guests headed for the US.

Cruise and Katie, 27, were already at Rome’s Ciampino airport with the cult boss at 6am after leaving the £5.3million lakeside ceremony in a medieval castle at Bracciano – laid on by owner Princess Maria Pace Odescalchi. The last of the guests left at 3am.

The couple, who had already tied the knot in an official ceremony at Los Angeles, were wearing overcoats in a military zone.

One official at VIP flight handlers Universal, who provided the jets, said: “There must have been 50 of his friends and family here early this morning, a lot of them still drunk.

“Tom, Katie and friends including their Scientologist best man left for the Maldives and the rest left on other aircraft to LA, Detroit and New York. They looked tired and tipsy and some were noisy.”

Well, it’s over. Cleanse yourself of body thetans, and hope that Mr. and Mrs. Holmes hire a deprogrammer for Katie for Christmas. Did they bring their clearly Asian baby along on the honeymoon, too? So much of this is wrong, I’m just going to find solace in the fact that Scientology is ok with booze.

Written by J. Harvey

Honey Loon [Mirror]

By Miu von Furstenberg

  1. SeaNymphette

    Are you joking, high, or blind? That baby isn’t even remotely Asian looking. She got too much pink in the undertones or her skin to be Asian. She looks exactly like a combination of Tom and Katie. She has Tom’s teardrop eye shape and Katie’s nose (thank god). She has their hair color, eye color, and skintone. Why are you still going to extremes to avoid the most plausible explanation, now that the baby has appeared, looks like Tom, and the rumors about her paternity have been debunked? Why would this baby’s conception be some far-fetched conspiracy, when the easiest explanation is that Tom IS the father? Even if you believe the “gay” rumors (I don’t, never gotten a hint of a gay vibe from him, and I went to The Fashion Institute in NYC on 7th Avenue, a college with an exceedingly high gay male population, and roomed with two gay guys while I was there), gay men have sex with women all the time, when it is convenient. There are tons of closet gays in straight marriages who have regular sex with their wives to maintain the illusion. Its called a “Beard”. Katie is beautiful, no matter what your sexual orientation and not so unappealing that Tom wouldn’t have sex with her long enough to produce a child. Even if straight sex was unimaginable to him, lesbians get pregnant with turkey basters all the time, why wouldn’t they inseminate with all that money and resources at their disposal?

  2. Jinxy McDeath

    Gee, he brought a man on his honeymoon – and not Anne Archers son! That is what shocked me, they’ve been thisclose for years.

    Really, who gives a shit about the baby.

  3. EraserFan

    Clearly, J.Harvey is blind. I know for a fact that he isn’t joking. Or high. Well, he may be high.

    Oh, J.Harvey, give up your blind high ways and join Xenu and his Galactic Confederacy! Shed your Body Thetans! Embrace the ARC Triangle!

    I wish I got a gay vibe from Tom Cruise.

  4. ifyousayso

    boy, the scientologists are all over you today, j. harvey!

    oh well, i’m still amused!

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