This Isn’t Going To End Well

So Britney Spears’ former bodyguard was the “surprise witness” that Gloria Allred showed up with at the custody proceedings. His name is Tony Barretto and he was inspired to tell his story because he’s concerned about Brit’s kids. Who isn’t? Someone should mount a rescue effort before those kids grow up to start snipering people and leaving tarot cards on highway overpasses. I’m sure there was money involved, but he’s got a doozy of a story of Britney almost OD’ing with Howie Day, and walking around naked and then firing him because he wouldn’t pick up her hat. That is the best reason for dismissal we’ve heard all day.

Indeed the frequent screaming bouts and episodes of depression left him fearing the singer might kill herself or even harm her children Preston, aged two, and Jayden, one.

Keep reading for the details of what this bloke had to say.


Barretto reports that Britney always referred to him as “honey” or “baby” and didn’t actually know his name. She was reportedly always passing the baby off to the nannies, assistants or security guys because she didn’t like to hold them when they cried. Then there was the time everyone was afraid she was going to take the kids “swimming”. The kind of swimming where the kids are in a van at the bottom of the lake and you’re telling the police a black guy carjacked you.

There was a time when I thought she was going to hurt the kids,” he confirms rubbing the dark eyes behind the spectacles.

“She sent the nanny home. She sent her best friend and personal assistant, Alli Sims, home. Britney hates to be alone, so this was worrying.

“One of the bodyguards who had been with her longest said she was beginning to shut down as she had just before she shaved her head.

“He said she’d been talking about suicide then, and this was the same. Britney was sobbing. She screamed.”

Sensing danger, his colleague said: “I’m worried about the kids. Don’t let her go swimming with them.”

“Shocked, I asked, ‘Is she going to drown them?’ He said, ‘I don’t know.’ I started to cry. How am I supposed to protect someone like that?”

Well, genius, maybe ya shouldn’t leave her alone with the kids, then. Damn! And there’s more, besides driving like an asshole with her kids in the car, Brit allegedly likes her drugs. Here’s Big Tony talking about the time he had to call a time out for Brit and Howie Day. Who were celebrating Christmas. With snow!

We finally found the room. We didn’t know if he was armed. I told my partner, ‘Your job is to get Britney. I’ll control the guy. I’m a big guy. I’ll take a shot.’ I’d take a bullet for her.

“We entered and the room was a mess. Dozens of bottles of hard liquor from the mini-bar were mostly empty.

“There were cigarettes, and what appeared to be narcotics next to the bed, straws and a powder that appeared to be cocaine. Across the room was a glass pipe for smoking drugs.

“He was on the bed in his boxers. Her eyes were huge. She was upset, kept shaking, biting her nails and sweating. She was really high. My partner said she was the worst he’d ever seen.”

She is not worth talking a bullet for. And if the kids try to shoot her, let them. It’s self-defense at this point. There’s more – Brit also likes walking around buck-ass naked in front of the hired help, and rubbing up on them and firing then if they don’t act shy and coy about it. Wow. And you can’t look at her ass ever. Just…wow. Sorry. That’s all I got. Let me know when we see the banner under her picture on CNN that ends with ” – 2007″.