This Isn’t Going To End Well

September 24th, 2007 // 25 Comments

So Britney Spears‘ former bodyguard was the “surprise witness” that Gloria Allred showed up with at the custody proceedings. His name is Tony Barretto and he was inspired to tell his story because he’s concerned about Brit’s kids. Who isn’t? Someone should mount a rescue effort before those kids grow up to start snipering people and leaving tarot cards on highway overpasses. I’m sure there was money involved, but he’s got a doozy of a story of Britney almost OD’ing with Howie Day, and walking around naked and then firing him because he wouldn’t pick up her hat. That is the best reason for dismissal we’ve heard all day.

Indeed the frequent screaming bouts and episodes of depression left him fearing the singer might kill herself or even harm her children Preston, aged two, and Jayden, one.

Keep reading for the details of what this bloke had to say.


Barretto reports that Britney always referred to him as “honey” or “baby” and didn’t actually know his name. She was reportedly always passing the baby off to the nannies, assistants or security guys because she didn’t like to hold them when they cried. Then there was the time everyone was afraid she was going to take the kids “swimming”. The kind of swimming where the kids are in a van at the bottom of the lake and you’re telling the police a black guy carjacked you.

There was a time when I thought she was going to hurt the kids,” he confirms rubbing the dark eyes behind the spectacles.

“She sent the nanny home. She sent her best friend and personal assistant, Alli Sims, home. Britney hates to be alone, so this was worrying.

“One of the bodyguards who had been with her longest said she was beginning to shut down as she had just before she shaved her head.

“He said she’d been talking about suicide then, and this was the same. Britney was sobbing. She screamed.”

Sensing danger, his colleague said: “I’m worried about the kids. Don’t let her go swimming with them.”

“Shocked, I asked, ‘Is she going to drown them?’ He said, ‘I don’t know.’ I started to cry. How am I supposed to protect someone like that?”

Well, genius, maybe ya shouldn’t leave her alone with the kids, then. Damn! And there’s more, besides driving like an asshole with her kids in the car, Brit allegedly likes her drugs. Here’s Big Tony talking about the time he had to call a time out for Brit and Howie Day. Who were celebrating Christmas. With snow!

We finally found the room. We didn’t know if he was armed. I told my partner, ‘Your job is to get Britney. I’ll control the guy. I’m a big guy. I’ll take a shot.’ I’d take a bullet for her.

“We entered and the room was a mess. Dozens of bottles of hard liquor from the mini-bar were mostly empty.

“There were cigarettes, and what appeared to be narcotics next to the bed, straws and a powder that appeared to be cocaine. Across the room was a glass pipe for smoking drugs.

“He was on the bed in his boxers. Her eyes were huge. She was upset, kept shaking, biting her nails and sweating. She was really high. My partner said she was the worst he’d ever seen.”

She is not worth talking a bullet for. And if the kids try to shoot her, let them. It’s self-defense at this point. There’s more – Brit also likes walking around buck-ass naked in front of the hired help, and rubbing up on them and firing then if they don’t act shy and coy about it. Wow. And you can’t look at her ass ever. Just…wow. Sorry. That’s all I got. Let me know when we see the banner under her picture on CNN that ends with ” – 2007″.

By J. Harvey

  1. peachpie

    sad if it’s true.

    sad if it isn’t true.

    consider the source.

    consider the target.

    hard to decide.

    this sounds a lot like a rosie blogpost. i just have no idea what’s left to say about this situation that hasn’t already been said.

  2. Clementines

    He’s a hero, not caring if he can’t be hired by some rich, nasty mental case again to keep his mouth shut and look the other way at any abuse, and become abused by his vulgar boss.

  3. kharris

    Okay, everyone around her knows she’s crazy, her family, her staff, her ex-lawyers and ex-managers and ex-hairdressers. In fact, the whole world knows she’s crazy and is in desperate need of help. So why doesn’t someone do something about it? I’m not talking rehab, I mean mental health help. Someone commit her, please!

  4. green cardigan

    Her family, her staff, her ex husband and his ex girlfriend and all the other hangers on and friends wouldn’t have the standard of living they have today if she hadn’t brought home the bacon during her teenage years. Maybe she is a mess, but she deserves their loyalty and support.

    This is so sad for her and her boys. I hope she reconciles with her mother soon. She obviously needs her now.

  5. Jen#2

    He sold his story way after the fact. If he really cared about the kids why didn’t he say something earlier? I’m not saying it’s not true but all he was looking for is a big paycheck, and he got it.

  6. Zekers

    That’s what I was thinking Jen#2, why didn’t he step up when he started feeling concern for the boy’s safety?

  7. Chaz

    It’s pretty detailed, which tends to argue for its truth. Arguing against it being true is that 1) he sold his story and the tabs pay more if what you’re saying is extra juicy; and 2) he’s tied up with Gloria Allred, who is more of a media hotdog than a real attorney. Plus, the “I’d take a bullet for her” stuff just makes him look silly.

    But the things we know are true about Britney are bad enough. My compassion for her starts at the point when she decides to grow up.

  8. Lisa

    “He’s a hero, not caring if he can’t be hired by some rich, nasty mental case again to keep his mouth shut and look the other way at any abuse, and become abused by his vulgar boss.”

    Um, unless he’s just a sleazeball that is used his brief time working for her as an extra payday when he sold a story to the press. HERO, I think not.

  9. Zekers

    I don’t think that is a decision she is able to just make, Chaz. Britney didn’t exactly have the school of hard knocks that the rest of us did. We (hopefully) learned from our early experiences and this helped us “grow up.” When did Britney have her childhood and her real-life learning experiences? Was she ever exposed to the ‘real world’ by her parents? Everything was done for her so I just can’t put all the blame on her for how she is coping now…
    I just lost my dad on Labor day and it really made me look at myself, other people and the world in general a lot differently…the whole experience just knocked the snark right out of me. I don’t know Britney from Adam but I really do feel sorry for her, she is a human being after all, she’s not some circus freak for all to be entertained by…

  10. JenniTexas

    Zekers – I agree with you 100%. It would really be great if she could just be left alone for awhile to get her stuff together. This bodyguard is a joke – a high paid joke, I’m sure – but still not very credible. Anything that will put this girl in a bad light is what the press eats up. I truly hope for the best for Britney and her kids.

  11. green cardigan

    Zekers – condolances. I lost my father suddenly 4 years ago. It’ll get better and easier to cope with as time passes.

  12. Zekers

    …thank you green, I sure hope so…it’s been a pretty rough go lately.

  13. Chaz

    Sorry, Zekers. I lost a parent earlier this year myself.

    People in Britney’s situation have come back to good mental health, but the first step for her would be to just STOP courting the media as she does. For all the criticism the paparazzi who follow her around are getting, she wouldn’t know what to do if they weren’t there. She’s like Lohan in that respect, but as bad as Lindsay is she’s really only hurting herself–she doesn’t have 2 children.

    And frankly, I think Britney should get some advice from the Deborah Gibsons and Donny Osmonds of the world. Given her lack of underlying talent, the chances that she can have a real comeback are very slim. She needs to start preparing for what comes next. The VMA thing told me that hasn’t sunk in yet. Going shopping every day and clubbing every night will burn through her cash pretty quick.

  14. P

    Eh, I hate to admit but in an irritable manic phase (I’m bipolar) I ended a two+ year relationship with someone I still love (yet I’m in a new relationship, lame) because he made himself some food at home before going out to dinner. At the time it made sense and I was pissed :/

  15. T-Bone

    Yeah – I’ll listen to everyone talk sh*t about Britney when they can tell me they had a stage mom from hell who threw them into the spotlight (for money, no less) before they even chewed their first stick of gum. People seem to forget how messed up life is for child stars. This girl doesn’t even know how to think on her own. And all of the rebellion is just that — rebellion against her mother and the hollywood wheel for destroying her childhood. If you’ve been through that, then I’ll listen to your opinion about how awful Britney is.

    And Zekers — I am truly sorry for your loss ;(

  16. Bodhi

    I’m conflicted as to my feelings about Brit.
    Part of me feels sorry for, what with the being pimped out at an early age, becoming an international super-star, & the subsequent melt down.
    She has the resourses to get the best help available. I don’t understand how/why she doesn’t see that she is doing serious damage to her boys. I can’t even imagine how school will be for those boys!
    Either this court ordered therapy & drug testing will force her to get her shit together or it won’t. I really hope she puts on her big girl panties & does what she needs to do. Otherwise Kev is gonna get thos boys. I bet she will FLIP OUT if she loses custody…

    So sorry about your dad, Zekers

  17. Bodhi

    eek. sorry for the left-out words!

  18. Zekers

    Thanks Chaz…I have to agree that she isn’t exactly brimming with talent and talking to other child stars would have been a prudent move for her mom/dad to pursue when she became so famous.

    I don’t pretend to know the answer to her situation, I just feel bad for her and don’t think it is fair to single her out with the entire blame…it is so difficult to watch someone, especially someone so young, go through such a public break down and it says a lot about us as a society that some feel it’s okay to make fun of her. Britney’s situation is very serious and personally I don’t think it belongs on the gossip pages anymore. She isn’t in control enough to stay out of public, maybe the public needs take control and remove the spot light from her.

    Hi T-bone and thanks…

  19. Tocia

    Britney is the victim here. I agree with Kharris. She needs mental health help fast and it shouldn’t be optional. I live in a mid size
    city and this made the news over the summer:

    “Locally, a 27-year-old mother accused of killing her baby and attempting to kill her toddler made a brief court appearance. She was arrested at her home after emergency crews received a call that a child wasn’t breathing. When crews arrived they found a three-month-old girl with no pulse.
    A two-year-old girl was found in medical distress. Ambulances raced the girls to hospital where the infant was pronounced dead. The two-year-old is out of hospital and is staying with a family member. Police have not said what led to the infant’s death or the toddler’s injuries but a neighbour said the father indicated on the night of the incident that he had found the infant suffocated and the drug lithium was in the toddler’s yogurt.”

    If you see someone acting crazy or out of sorts, you don’t sit back and say, hmm, why is she doing all sorts of crazy things. You intervene. You get the kids in a safe place and the mother the care she needs. Is everyone just going to watch and afterwards say, maybe we should have done something?

    I feel really helpless when I read the Britney updates. Her sad life goes beyond entertainment and gossip. We are seeing a real, live, breakdown.

  20. bkmagnolia

    “Let me know when we see the banner under her picture on CNN that ends with ” – 2007″.

    that’s pretty fucked up. the girl is a hot mess and much of it is her own doing, but I’d never wish to see an obit on someone this young with two little kids.

    that said, it’s VERY hard to empathize with her when she seems hell bent of acting like a jackass.

  21. Britney you need the Betty Ford clinic honey I cant exspess this enough go put your life in god and their hands go rest and leave these freaks that get off on tormenting you alone let them regret what they do to you.Fuck all you a holes leave her alone please people have a heart.You are human as she is and kevin may you burn in hell someday you jerk.BY BRITNEY I LOVE YA HON

  22. peachpie

    glad to know i’m not the only one waffling on what to think about this disturbing situation. the overriding emotion/thought is just sadness for her, her family, extended family, and us. we all totally got off on her wacky antics and ate it up with a spoon as fast a Jhay Harvey could serve it up. things have changed. for me, anyway.

    Zekers, and all others with parental losses, i’m so sorry for the pain experience(d). it’s difficult. you’re brave. and i hope that you’re a better person because of it. thanks for sharing it with the rest of us.

  23. LindaB

    He should have just picked up her hat then he might still have a job and not have to resort to this half assed attempt at getting noticed. Um and why did he hire an attorney? To do his civic duty? He waited what 3 months? Real people with legit concerns call the cops and child services NOT Gloria Allred. Just another butt sniffer looking for an easy buck who really should have just picked up her hat…………….

  24. ZeldaF

    Zekers, Green Cardigan & Chaz – Sorry to hear about your losses. Heartfelt condolences.

  25. Ralph DeMattia

    Britnet Spears is a waste of sexual effort. The best part of her ran down the crack of her mother’s ass and ended up as a stain on the mattress. So for that matter is Barbara Streisand, Hillary, Bill, and Chelsea Clinton, Susan Sarandon, Michael Moore, Michael jackson, jesse jackson, and the entire Democratic party!

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