This Is An Important Issue

August 6th, 2007 // 39 Comments

Seriously, this blogger knows what time it is. Michelle Collins of VH-1′s “Best Week Ever” went to go see “The Bourne Ultimatum” last night and some douchebag brought their infant. To an 11 o’clock movie. On a Sunday night. What is wrong with people? What is that all about? Who are you? Why is there a baby carriage in “Hostel 2″‘s midnight showing. Guess what? You had a f*cking kid. Stay home with it! It’s not our fault you didn’t have the brain matter to remember to take a pill or slap some latex on. God, I hate you! Here’s what Michelle had to say:

Needless to say, I spent most of the movie trying my best to ignore the voice while simultaneously weaving a noose made out of Twizzlers. The noise did not let up the entire movie. “For god’s sake, have these people never heard of Peggy Post?” I wondered silently. I had had enough. My head was about to explode from anger, and I had a killer headache. So, about 10 minutes to the end, during an intense but quiet stand-off (no spoilers here), and with Demon Baby Jenkins on the verge of bawling, I SCREAMED out as loud and ladylikely as possible: “Will you and your baby PLEASE LEAVE?!”

Amen, sis. 10 minutes to the end. This poor broad spent probably 12 bucks to see Matt Damon kick ass and she had to listen to someone’s crack baby. Seriously, if you know someone who’s like “oh, I’m going out to a movie with the little one! What showing? Oh the 3 AM one! Yeah, it’s “SAW 4″!” STOP THEM. Tell that they f*cking suck for doing that and deserve to be left in a dumpster and have their baby raised by Scientologists who will ignore it if turns out autistic.

More photos of Matt Damon are after the jump.

(Image source)

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. Megan

    Bravo to Michelle for saying something! I know sometimes I feel like I am becoming an old fart at 23 when I go to the movies and countless teenagers are talking to each other, on their cell phones, just have their cell phones open (the light gets to be awful in a dark theater), doing the “fake screams”, laser pointers…no need to go on…and I get extremely annoyed! But a baby is something I’ve luckily never had to deal with! Who was this woman, Britney Spears? Some people just don’t have common sense. Again Bravo Michelle!

  2. dfd

    o.k. i know it sucked for the people in the audience but i bet it sucked more for the baby. imagine, you are born and all you want is some boob, some sleep and some peace – maybe to look at a mobile or go for a walk – and someone takes you to the movies !!???!! and not to some quiet nature documentary – an action film ???!!! what is wrong with these people? it is one thing to be inconsiderate with strangers but imagine growing up in an environment where your parents don’t take two minutes to put your needs before their own… and why are these people being allowed to buy tickets? what do they do after the show? take the baby to the bar for a beer? ever hear of a baby sitter???

  3. dfd

    o.k. i know it was a drag for the people in the audience but i bet it was a bigger drag for the baby. imagine, you are born and all you want is some milk, some sleep and some peace – maybe to look at a mobile or go for a walk – and someone takes you to the movies! and not to some quiet nature documentary – an action film! what is wrong with these people? it is one thing to be inconsiderate with strangers but imagine growing up in an environment where your parents don’t take two minutes to put your needs before their own… and why are these people being allowed to buy tickets? what do they do after the show? take the baby to the bar for a beer? ever hear of a baby sitter?

  4. dfd

    o.k. i know it was a drag for the people in the audience but i bet it was a bigger drag for the baby. imagine, you are born and all you want is some milk, some sleep and some peace – maybe to look at a mobile or go for a walk – and someone takes you to the movies! and not to some quiet nature documentary – an action film! what is wrong with these people? it is one thing to be inconsiderate with strangers but imagine growing up in an environment where your parents don’t take two minutes to put your needs before their own… and why are these people being allowed to buy tickets? what do they do after the show? take the baby to the bar for a beer? ever hear of a baby sitter?

  5. no kid

    Thank heavens for the Arclight. Possibly one of the best things about living in Los Angeles. Ever noticed how there is no children’s price there, or they won’t show any movie that might attract children (no Harry Potter, etc.).

    I propose that the Arclight raise the ticket price to $25 each, to further weed out the riff raff.

    Every city needs an Arclight. I used to hate going to the movies, until I started going there. Now I can even reserve an aisle seat!

  6. christine

    i’m glad she wrote about this. i remember leaving a bowling alley about eleven one night, only to see three young-ish adults entering – with a three-year-old! it goes beyond irresponsibility.

  7. brofoski

    I’ll echo what no kid said—Thank god for the Arclight. They would have tossed the parent and the infant, or never let them in to begin with. Their ticket prices are worth every penny.

  8. stolidog

    But what if it was Suri??

    Babies/kids shouldn’t be allowed out of the house until they are 14. Doesn’t everybody know that?

  9. Loob

    DAMN well said, J.Harv and Michelle!
    Jesus H, some parents are selfish assholes!!!

  10. I just got home from $1.00 margarita night at a Mexican place, and we were stuck next to a table of screaming kids. WTF?! It’s like Britney said to her latest cousin/assistant, “Pack up the babies, Jolene, and let’s git us some cheap tequila!” Every time I wonder how Bush got elected, I think of people like this and understand that smart and considerate people are most definitely the minority.

  11. Monica

    WELL SAID Michelle & J. Harvey!

    This is such a huge pet peeve of mine. My husband and I are huge horror movie fans and it’s alarming- no, fucking infuriating- to observe how common it has become to see parents bring their infants and toddlers to a slasher movie at 10pm. What the hell is wrong with people? Just because they have to suffer their bad parenting doesn’t mean the rest of us should be tormented and we sure as hell shouldn’t have to pay $8 for the displeasure of it.

    Theater owners want to know why ticket sales are down? It’s because they need to grow a pair and tell these inconsiderate fucktards to leave so the rest of us can enjoy our blood and guts in peace. (Yes, I see the irony) We’ve complained and they don’t do anything. At least we can get our money back in some cases. Assholes.

  12. ugh

    Every Sunday night I go out for margaritas and it’s in the bar of a restaurant and it amazes me how many people bring screaming ass infants in there around all the cigarette smoke and alcohol. I’ve stared them down and even made comments loud enough for them to hear about how their kid will grow up thinking these places are family places.

  13. hmmm. as a mom of two, i used to bring my babies to “cinebabies” – where they would encourage moms/dads to bring their babies to the movies. you knew what you were signing up for when you went to one of those movies (crying, rocking, etc). i would NEVER dream of bringing them to a regular showing…that’s pretty nervy.

  14. Persistent Cat

    Like the poster above said, I know there are matinees during the day specifically for parents with babies. Who could be that ignorant to go to a movie (regardless of the time or the movie genre) with an infant. Hell, I don’t even go when I have a cold or allergies because I know no one wants to hear my coughing.

    When we go to the movies, we go to a place that it’s in the downtown area of my city. The theatres are smaller but they aren’t full of teen-agers. AND, it’s full of pretentious people, meaning the stupid-ass movie that I’m going to see WON’T be sold-out.

    I remember when I went to see The Blair Witch Project in the theatre, some dumb-ass father took his two young (like 8 & 10) to see it. You could tell it was his weekend with the kids and was too retarded to check a review. We got stuck beside these kids (who farted the whole time, it was revolting). The swearing alone is atrocious but the kids kept asking, “where’s the witch?” The subtlety of that movie was lost on them. Why? Because they were 8 & 10. I wanted to punch that idiot father so badly.

  15. Alexis

    Amen! Child Welfare Services should have branch offices in theatres, restaurants, libraries, etc.

  16. kelly Rummelhart

    I agree- HOWEVER, I hate it even more when I bring my kids 4 and 6 (with my 10 month old) to a kids movie, in the middle of the day and some other adult shoots me a look when my kids laugh too loud or ask for clarification . . . I’d love to kick them in the ass and tell them to go see “Robots” after 8pm, then my kids won’t be there. Or better yet, find a fu#$ing boyfriend or girlfriend so they don’t have to be by themself on a Wednesday at noon at a kids movie.

  17. Am

    My two cents: A few years ago, I went to the midnight showing of “28 Days Later”. Somebody brought their five year old. I was pissed but since the child stayed quiet, so did I.

    And besides, the baby’s momma looked like she could throw-down if she needed too. I’m a lover, not a fighter.

  18. nesro

    The whole world just thinks everyone loves their kids as much as they do… got news for you.. most people bite their tongue and don’t say anything when an annyoing kid is ruining the expeirence of everyone else.. I on the other hand will say something about it… annyoing kids in movies running around, REGARDLESS of what and when is bad parenting.. if you kids can’t sit still and WATCH the god damned movie, then rent them a DVD and spare us your mistakes.. I have noticed (and I’m not racists, just pointing out what i see) that the Mexicans in my area are the worst.. They bring kids, and they act like its a fucking playground.. No manners or sense what so ever.. Makes you want the world sterelized.

  19. Zekers

    It seems to me that this just goes along with everything else in our ME society. People are so fu*king rude and inconsiderate pretty much everywhere these days. Very few people consider (or care) how their actions affect others…I see it everywhere, on the roads (my personal fave-the guy that pulls out in front of me, goes 30 in a 55 and turns a block down the road and the whole time, not a car behind me), in the stores, schools-everywhere. I just don’t get it, life would be so much more pleasant for everyone if people would stop being selfish assholes all their waking hours. There’s my rant for the day!

  20. mom of new baby

    while i agree that having a constantly screaming infant at a movie is rude, i do have to stick up for moms out there. babies don’t have a 7:30 bedtime! they nap for a few hours and wake up again hungry.

    maybe this mom was desperate to get out of the house, as sometimes all of us new moms are (even if we did choose to have this child) and thought that the baby would nap during the movie and then eat the rest of the time, which is all young babies do.

    but i do believe that the mom should have gotten up and left or at least bounced the baby around the back of the theater when it started crying.

    but you can’t fault the mom for wanting a change of scenery. sorry.

  21. I have first hand knowlege of Sienna Miller’s email adress that she uses for fan mail! she will actually reply and you can ask her about upcomming projects and what not!!!

    s22miller@hotmail.com

    CHECK IT OUT!!!
    CHECK IT OUT!!
    CHECK IT OUT!!

  22. I have first hand knowlege of Sienna Miller’s email adress that she uses for fan mail! she will actually reply and you can ask her about upcomming projects and what not!!!

    s22miller@hotmail.com

    CHECK IT OUT!!!
    CHECK IT OUT!!
    CHECK IT OUT!!

  23. nastybugger

    mom of new baby, I understand what you’re saying about needing a change of scenery, but the movie theater is NOT the change you should make.

    if you have a kid, you have to sacrifice some of the pleasures you previously enjoyed. Can’t just go out whenever you feel like it. YOU chose to make that exchange of freedom for the experience of having a child.

    If you can’t find a sitter, DON’T, by any means, take an infant/small child to an evening movie. take a walk, go to the mall, whatever…but don’t inflict a crying baby on someone who’s paying upwards of $10 to see a movie because you “need a change of scenery”.

    why the hell do you think OTHER people go to the movies?!

  24. Zekers

    “mom of new baby” I know that stir-crazy feeling but it would be much better to take the baby and go for a walk or rent a video and go to a friend’s house-something/anything other than taking an infant to a movie theater…it’s just wrong. It’s just basic consideration of others. Besides, you and I both know that if the baby cried through the whole movie, then the mom didn’t really see the movie so what would be the point-for her, the baby and the others at the movie?

  25. stanley

    Good for her for saying something. I have to get better at that. I have sat there steaming mad unable to enjoy movies in the past few years because people are talking, texting, providing useless commentary to their friends, guessing the next plot twist and bringing their stupid babies.
    To the people who think its okay to bring a baby to a regular (not for mom and kids) movie showing, think of it this way…no matter how cute you think your baby is, youre annoying me and everyone else in the theatre. Yes, you are.

  26. at the very least they should have had the courtesy to take the baby to El Cantante. That way they would have the theater all to themselves.

  27. breeder

    Sometimes those pills or those latex sleeves fail, and sometimes you don’t have a fuckin choice but to be a fucking human being and raise your fuckin kid. Don’t be a hater on the breeders, dude.

    On the other hand, only assholes take infants to non-family movies. Won’t argue that.

    But you’re still an asshole for being so flippant about people for having children. And yes, I mean that.

    -A Reluctant Father who did the Right Thing.

  28. woohoo

    Bitter much breeder ? Its one thing to be a stand up guy and raise your kid, But you seem really angry about it. Sticking around is not always best. An absent father is better than an angry unhappy one !!! Do the kid a favor .. Bail dude !

  29. Zekers

    Um really breeder, “your fuckin’ kid?” If that is really how you feel about the child, are you so ignorant as to think that your child won’t pick up on that lovely sentiment??? Woohoo is right, if that is the real for you…then get away from the child, pay your financial support and carry condoms.

  30. nastybugger

    breeder, no one is being flippant about having kids. nor is anyone hating on “breeders” in general. it’s the shitheads who bring the babies to evening shows.

    what we’re asking is that people TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for those kids. one of the things that goes along with having a child is that you have to give up some of the things you enjoyed before you had them. one of those things is the freedom to do what you want, when you want. no sitter? too bad. deal with the consequences of your actions.

  31. Persistent Cat

    I don’t care what time the movie is playing or what the genre is, babies do NOT belong in a movie theatre. EVER. Unless it’s a specific thing where you are allowed to but otherwise, no. They cry. And even though you can leave, you’ve still disrupted it for everyone else. And bouncing the baby around in the back of the theatre is still not acceptable because it makes noise.

  32. devil

    When I rule the world, ticket prices for anyone under the age of 25 will be 50 times higher than for those over age 25.

    Ticket prices for babies will be a thousand times higher than adults. No exceptions, don’t even ask.

    Get a babysitter or don’t breed.

  33. mom of new baby

    god, y’all…did you read that i said that if the baby cried, normal polite people would take the baby out of the theater. jeez. i took my 2 year old out of the theater in the middle of the day during CARS because he was running up and down the aisle.

    i just don’t think you should automatically say to stay the hell away if you have a baby. maybe that baby will behave and the parent(s) will have some good sense. by all means, if they don’t, ask them politely to leave.

    there’s never an excuse to be an ass about anything.

  34. nastybugger

    mom of new baby, once the baby starts to cry, it’s already too late. the movie experience has been disrupted.

    normal polite people DO NOT take their babies to a theater for an evening show. period.

  35. stolidog

    hmmm…a baby starting to cry at a movie shouldn’t spoil the whole experience if said baby is removed promptly.
    you should take yoga classes.

    me, i’m not so fond of babies/children, but of course i recognize the need for them. I just don’t really understand the need for babies to be inflicted on adults at every turn.

  36. dfd

    i am the mom of a 3 week old and a two year old. i am happy to have them, love them to bits but they are NOT going to the movies. there is a time and a place for such things and a baby does not have the cognitive development to deal with a movie experience – it seems cruel to subject them to that – and a young toddler does not have the attention span. i don’t care if movie houses run mommy times – my kids are not going to the movies until they are old enough to deal with the experience – and if they can’t deal we are leaving. i have not left the house much these 3 weeks but when i need to i go for a walk, or to the park or to the local cafe… something calming and enjoyable for me and the newborn, but not the movies!!!

  37. Monica

    Mom of a new baby,

    You’re right, there’s never an excuse to be an ass and taking your child to the movies just because you need a break makes you an inconsiderate ass, both to your child and to your fellow movie patrons.

    Also, you might think it’s ok to take your infant to a theater but his hearing and your pediatrician think otherwise. Movie theaters get loud, around 130 decibels during the louder parts. That’s loud enough to cause hearing loss in babies and toddlers.

  38. urban_g6

    Babies are pretty bad on the parents fault. But what is even more infuriating is a couple of adults who see it fit to watch a movie in a packed theatre as if they were at home watching it alone. Conversing, talking loudly, making comments. Seriously…SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

  39. illinoise

    I just saw the bourne ultimatum last night and some bitch brought her kids too!!! WTF!!! But I told her “Shhh, go take your kids to the playground”

    I’m only 21, but I want to watch my movies in peace goddamn it!

Leave A Comment