This Has To Be Fiction

July 24th, 2007 // 29 Comments

It just gets worse and worse. She might need a hug. So, Britney did an interview with OK! magazine and apparently the interview and the accompanying photoshoot held the stuff of nightmares. Could it really have gotten this bad? Apparently she acted really loony, and this was accompanied by fried chicken grease and dog feces. Ugh. Someone hold me.

According to multiple sources, Britney’s behavior during the interview was “nothing less than a meltdown.” She was, according to our sources, “completely out of it” during the shoot. The photos are “so bad” we’ve learned, that to publish them could “kill her career.” Apparently, Brit Brit’s eyes rolled back in her head at one point, causing her to look half dead. Her mood, we’re told, was extremely erratic. She took frequent bathroom breaks our source says, and each time she returned her mood would change. She was also completely paranoid during the entire interview, fearing at one point the ceiling was about to cave in on her


Keep reading for the fried chicken incident and where she mops up dog mess with couture.

At one point, Britney ordered up some fried chicken to munch on. We’re told after she chowed down, she wiped her hands on a several thousand dollar Gucci dress that she was wearing for the shoot, staining it with grease. Yuck! One of her dogs also needed some assistance in the housebreaking department. Our on-set spy says that the dog pooped all over the floor, and Brit used (what else?) — a Chanel dress to clean it up!

Cuz’ why use a Bounty? Chanel is the quicker picker-upper. Sources went on to say that Britney refused makeup and hair help from OK! and had “friends” style her, and that even soon-to-famous singing cousin/assistant Alli Simms wasn’t present. And all I can imagine is that this is like that Richard Pryor movie where he has to spend the million dollars so he can earn even more money but he can’t tell anyone about it? So I think maybe she is trying to earn some huge sum by acting like the trashiest pig imaginable and she can’t reveal what’s going on? Or someone’s screwing with her to make her look bad and releasing stories like this. Or she’s just plain crazy. It’s probably door #3. FRIED CHICKEN GREASE ON GUCCI?!?!?

By J. Harvey

  1. Yet another dumb cunt who needs to be put in jail.

  2. green cardigan

    Jesus, was she brought up in a barn?

    Can you imagine the SMELL at that photoshoot ? Dog shit and fried chicken. Wow.

  3. Kat

    Poor thing. She is a short time away from completely losing it.

  4. Persistent Cat

    She desecrated Chanel!!! The closest I get to Chanel is my Chanel #5 (which I can’t even wear at f**king work) and the make-up and my fake bags, that is an affront to me. How do you do that to Chanel?

    But really, is she that disgusting that she’d do that? I mean, ok, she wiped her hands but to believe she cleaned up after a dog using a dress. Chanel or Jaclyn Smith collection, who would do that?

  5. They need to take this train-wreck, the Blohan trash, that British Coke-head Doherty, Parasite and the Greasy Bear brothers, put them on a deserted island far far away from the rest of the world.

  6. Zekers

    Great Britain did that once, sent all their “undesirables” to an island and it turned into Australia wonder what an island with these losers on it would turn out to be…the possibilities are endless-for the comedy that would ensue!

  7. Um, it scares the hell out of me that someone read a story that included dog sht, chicken grease and ceiling cave ins but only got upset about a designer dress.

  8. jesse d

    LMAO Whoa Nelly, it’s amazing what sticks in your brain, huh?
    Clarisse, that’s brilliant. Let’s do it.

  9. Zekers,
    Hollywood undesirables, unlike Britian’s, have no actual talents.

    A theif can steal a loaf of bread, a liar can con someone out of a few bucks…this lot would die off within a month. They would be like a moronic version of “Animal Farm”.

  10. Zekers

    Clarisse, have you heard/seen anything about the reality show with all the kids living on their own in the wild? Well, how about we send these “Hollywood undesirables” to them? OOOhhh, that I would watch!

  11. newfgirl

    OK! says it’s going to publish the entire warts and all interview rather than just do a puff piece. *cackles, rubs hands together gleefully*

  12. MizLiz

    Sounds like she had a psychotic break. She really needs to be institutionalized — indefinitely. How to make her stay on her meds? How to keep her from serial pregnancies? If she’s pregnant again, with all the drugs and alcohol she’s ingesting, the child will be a disaster.

  13. MizLiz

    Sounds like she had a psychotic break. She really needs to be institutionalized — indefinitely. How to make her stay on her meds? How to keep her from serial pregnancies? If she’s pregnant again, with all the drugs and alcohol she’s ingesting, the child will be a disaster.

  14. Persistent Cat

    Whoa Nelly, the only thing taken from that wasn’t the ruination of two couture dresses. It’s the utter downfall of it all. The finality of it being someone is so off their gourd that they used a dress to clean something up. Who does that?

  15. MizLiz

    Sounds like she had a psychotic break. She really needs to be institutionalized — indefinitely. How to make her stay on her meds? How to keep her from serial pregnancies? If she’s pregnant again, with all the drugs and alcohol she’s ingesting, the child will be a disaster.

  16. Courtney

    Um how have those kids not been taken away yet? Judy Garland was a better mother.

  17. Courtney,
    At this point, Joan Crawford was a better mother!

  18. T-Bone

    Britney is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I don’t find that particularly amusing and I hope she gets the mental health and substance abuse help she needs.

  19. i don't know about this

    poor little rich girl, can’t handle the fame that she was “longing” for as a child. i’m sorry, i don’t feel for this chick, i don’t worry about her, and you know what-she’s setting herself up for a nervous breakdown. she has all that money-quit buying dogs and go to a hospital and get the help you need! you have 2 babies who need you, selfish little witch.

  20. Please! This piece of trash needs a visit from the CPS, not SAMHSA.

  21. eddie

    i dont know if this is true. it is just hard to believe everything that comes out about her. there is no way it is all true. this sounds so fare fetched. there have been other articles out there from other people who worked with her on that same day during her video shoot and they said that she was working really hard and was very dedicated to the shoot. so it is hard for me to believe that she was that looney.

  22. m

    T-Bone, first she’d have to admit that she needs help. She insists her problems are caused by everyone and everything but herself, so it’s highly unlikely she’ll get help unless some authority is able to commit her to treatment.

    Eddie, chances are she’s always been somewhat like this, but that she used to have a good publicist who managed to keep it all quiet. She’s self-representing now, don’t forget. Also, this stuff is about an interview and photo shoot with OK Magazine, not her video shoot, which was earlier in the day.

  23. gail

    REality show: Britney, Lindsay, and all the rest of them, on a deserted island.
    Someone needs to Baker-Act this girl, before she dies.

  24. silvarga

    I wanna see those supposedly “career-killing” photos. How can you kill something that’s pretty much dead?

  25. Shitney has as much chance at a successful come-back as she does at a mother of the year award.

  26. Maple

    There’s always a price to pay for fame but I feel for Britney. How was she to know as a young girl what life would be like in the spotlight? Presumably an adult made those decisions for her. I totally agree that she is accountable for her behaviour today but don’t you think she also deserves some compassion? Somebody please help her.

  27. Diana

    She’s Bipolar, no doubt.

  28. Ruby Jackson

    How loooong is she going to circle the drain before she finally goes down?!?

  29. kenton

    There is a woman across the street from me who is 28, has 7 kids (3 diff dads), is ugly, fat, skanky, jobless, lives with mom and smokes all day. But, she gets to keep her kids… in fact, the gov’t sends her MONEY to keep her kids… why does she get to keep her kids? Because she’s not a star with the paps posting all of her less-stellar info for the whole world to know, that’s why.

    There’s NO reason to think this OK! article is 100% truthful. Britney is having some depression and stress issues but she is not getting arrested for DUI, beating her kids or doing anything other than showing off her major-fug and wearing ugly clothes. She owns some puppies… one pooped on a dress, pretty tacky. But if you read the article it was her assitant who chose to clean up poop with the dress that was defiled. There’s another story running about her and the photogs that knocked into her baby in vegas – a parent saying I’ll kill you if you get near my kids again is not such a big deal. I’d angrily threaten someone who hurt my child in the heat of the moment as my child hung there crying. You would too. Try it and see!

    Stars may bring a measure of responsibility on themselves by becoming famous but most of the public don’t realize how these photogs behave to get their pictures, it causes more stress than is apropriate for one human being to give to another. You think they silently stand there and demurely take the pictures? Nope. Running, pushing, screaming requests, insults, jokes and anything else is very common. But it’s the photogs and reporters whose stories get heard obvs, since it’s their publications we’re reading about the incidents in. Britney isn’t hurting her kids by taking them shopping or making lousey videos, what a double standard. Nobody would be saying that if she looked sexy in those clothes, everyone just thinks “oh god she’s so ugly look at her nasty clothes what a skank take her kids away!” Those people either are children who have no clue what it’s like to be a mom or housemoms who need to look in the mirror, thank you for being so damn perfect that the Pope is considering you for sainthood, rock on.

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