There’s No Way He Wasn’t Someone’s Bitch

November 17th, 2007 // 4 Comments

Jason Wahler of “Laguna Beach” infamy is out of the joint and talking about it. He’s sidestepping any talk of how he probably had to bite some pillows. I’m sorry, he’s much too sorta cutesy to have not been “Oz”‘ed. Rape’s no joke, but he’s annoying and racist and homophobic so I think he deserved to get Tobias Beecher’ed. Sell that ass for some cigarettes and a phone card, cellmates!

“Jail was a very humbling experience. It gave me time to reflect and really think about my mistakes,” says the reality-TV star, 20, who was released Tuesday after serving 18 days.

He added, “It made me want to really focus on my career. I spent my time reading and studying the script for my upcoming film “10,000 Doors”. I am happy to be home with my family and friends and am thankful to them for getting me through this rough time.”

Hopefully one of those doors has a backdraft behind it. Remind me to check out that flick at my local independent cinema. He had earned a 30 day sentence for douchery, I mean assault, and was released early on good behavior. He’s currently engaged to college tennis player Katja Decker-Sadowski. Oh girl, you need to make it to Wimbledon and lose the clown if you know what’s good for you. Make like Martina!

Photos: Splash

By J. Harvey

  1. Loob

    “Hopefully one of those doors has a backdraft behind it.”

    AHAHAHA!!! Oh my god, J.Harv! You nearly choked me to death with my morning cranberry juice. Which by the way, burns worse than coffee.
    Ahhh. The belly laugh was good exercise, though.

  2. jbonz

    Is that his abdomen or is he wearing a pink “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle” costume?

  3. Couldn’t have put it better myself!

  4. Couldn’t have put it better myself!

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