The Natasha Lyonne Diaries

Lets just say that the Natasha Lyonne (who is currently in a Miami rehab clinic) diaries are nothing like The Nanny Diaries. Natasha Lyonne has been one troubled woman for a long time. The diaries which were found last year in dumpster near her apartment after her eviction, are nearly a decade old, and aren’t the musings of your everyday teenager.

A bundle of diaries by troubled actress Natasha Lyonne paint a disturbing picture of the once promising actress’ long downward spiral.

The journals – which were then acquired by David Hans Schmidt, a broker of lurid celebrity memorabilia, including the contents of Paris Hilton’s storage locker and the Colin Farrell sex tape – were shown to the Daily News.

They feature streams of pseudo-intellectual gibberish in wildly varied handwriting. The entries are interspersed with sketches, many of which seem to be of Lyonne. The overall portrait that emerges is of an intelligent but highly insecure young woman who is ill at ease with her life in the limelight.

“Sometimes I feel that I’m just too strong, too bold to cohabit this planet,” reads one passage from 1997. “My loss would be a weight off so many shoulders.”

Even as Lyonne’s film career was blossoming, she chronicled the insecurity that apparently drove her to dangerous excess. “They all say to just be myself,” she wrote in 1997. “They don’t know I am no one. I wonder if I’ll ever really kill myself. I know I will, but at this rate…”

Lyonne often expresses disappointment and even scorn for a parade of friends that, she wrote, “come in and out of my life. People who once thought they loved me won’t return my calls, find me offensive, will love to watch me fall.”

Let’s hope this woman is getting all the help that she obviously desperately needs.

A life crumbling in diaries from ‘Amer. Pie’ star [Daily Dish]