The MTV Video Music Award Nominations

This is funny because everyone knows that channel doesn’t actually play videos anymore. It’s ok, because I can focus my vitriol on the snotty little twits on “My Super Sweet 16″. I blame them for no more videos. But Daddy, you bought me the white Lexus, I want the black one! I HATE YOU! If anyone deserves homelessness, it’s those little idiots. *ahem* Anyway, you can view the complete entries here. But here’s a few of the top ones:

Best Group:

Fall Out Boy (mascara)
Gym Class Heroes (who?)
Linkin Park (stop)
Maroon 5 (Ri-Ri Harvey LOVES them)
The White Stripes (why dontcha kick yourself out you’re an immigrant too!)


Keep reading after the jump for a few more nominees (plus more photos of Rihanna with Mischa Barton and Michael Musto at the Paper party and more Fall Out Boy performing on ‘Today.’

Female Artist of the Year:

Beyonce (tired)
Fergie (rough)
Nelly Furtado (bangs)
Rihanna (gonna steal Jay-Z from Beyonce)
Amy Winehouse (mess)

Male Artist of the Year:

Akon (throws children)
Robin Thicke (hot but boring)
T.I. (does he have his own deal besides guest-starring?)
Justin Timberlake (white, cranky)
Kanye West (good taste in sunglasses, heavily gay)

Best New Artist:

Lily Allen (cocky, banned from our country)
Gym Class Heroes ( do they sing that f*cking “Delilah” song? Shut up.)
Peter Bjorn & John (they have a song I like)
Carrie Underwood (I’d have this twat arrested if she ever did that to my car, she is not female empowerment, she’s a crazy vandal who should be Tasered)
Amy Winehouse (skeletal)

So there’s actually videos by these people? I seriously doubt it. Everytime I turn on MTV, it’s tanned people in hottubs exploring their sexuality and then arguing.