The Most Beautiful Woman In The World Was In Iraq

“What’s this craggy bitch goin’ on about?” I’m playin’. God, I love that sky-blue Princess Leia vest she’s rockin’. Where can I get that for my next humanitarian mission? Man, mention Angie is trying to do something good and claws pop out and people start hissing like a deflating tire or a neon sign. It’s not like she’s trying to bring anorexia to a war-torn nation! She’s not gonna just stay at home in New Orleans in a burka! This bitch is busy! She’s in NYC! She’s filming in Chicago! She’s in Syria! She’s not holding a lit cigarette near her child’s face and then exchanging him for a margarita and a wig. And I don’t see Aniston’s ass over there! She’s too busy trying to sell me 50 Cent’s water!

Angelina Jolie wrapped up a two-day trip to Syria and Iraq Tuesday in her role as a Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees. Jolie took this trip to witness the hundreds of thousands of families uprooted by the war in Iraq and to visit with US soldiers.

A source close to Jolie told Huffington Post, “It’s been in the works for about six months. She spent a lot of time being briefed by experts. She met with a large number of experts on Syria, Iraq, the refuge crisis and other issues in preparation for the trip.” The source added, “She considered her time with American troops to be one of the most important parts of the trip.”

Yeah, this ain’t no Hanoi Jane mess! Keep reading for how one American soldier got the thrill of his young life.

More photos of Angelina Jolie visiting refugees in Iraq are after the jump.

OK! magazine got a pic of a young soldier who got to pose with The Most Beautiful Woman In The World. He’s reported to be in good condition with a 75% chance of awakening from his love coma.

In this exclusive shot, Angie poses with Denver native Lance Corporal Samuel Petersen, 22, of the US Marine Corps. The photo was taken today at Camp Waleed in Iraq, near the Waleed refugee camp that Angelina visited this morning. According to Petersen’s mother Sue tells OK! that the Marines at this camp are training the Iraqi police how to do border patrol.

Back in Denver, he’s gonna be known as “the dude who touched Angelina Jolie”. That’s way better than skiing the K-12.