“The Hills” Are Alive With The Sound Of Sexy Time

August 21st, 2007 // 4 Comments

Whenever I write that I don’t watch this one, bitches squawk. Well why do you write about these freaks then? Because EVERYBODY ELSE watches it and wants to know about em’ and I have a job to do, damnit! Lauren Conrad has a new sperm donor, and she’s out on the town with his ass.

The cute blonde was spotted holding hands and making out with dancer/actor Sean Zastoupil over the weekend at Les Deux in Hollywood. Our spy snitched, “They met a couple of years ago at a fashion show in San Diego for Dieter Schmitz’s charity event RH4T and just recently reconnected.” A rep for Conrad didn’t return e-mails.

What a beautiful love story. We wish her the best. Most of these people are odious but I find her slightly LESS odious than the plastic coned chick with the gay fiancee. Seriously, those two have a song together. The only sound I want to hear from them at this point is screeching tires, shrapnel flying and death rattles. Ok, that was harsh but I’m totally stressed out and going to Newport to write from the beach. So why not get the hatred out now so my bad vibes don’t terrify children building sandcastles and and kill seagulls dead like Alka-Seltzer?

LC Continues to Strike a Pose After the Jump

By J. Harvey
  1. She looks like she’s faking her smiles. And that nail polish has got to go.

  2. J.D.

    I watched this with my roomate last night. She was in Vegas until Sunday night for Brodie’s birthday and after that they flew to Toronto to be on MTV Canada. So when does that mean time for Les Deux?

  3. Jeanie

    I don’t watch those shows, but I have to say I love L.C.’s hair color. It’s natural-looking and pretty. I’m so sick of that monochrome platinum blond hair that looks like straw. Think Holly and Kendra from the Girls NExt Door. It just makes me angry.

  4. Yeah that Sean dude already said this rumour was total bs this afternoon. Frikken, uhh… that one dude Eugene Levy (that old dude with the Scorcese-esque eyebrows from the American Pie flicks) yeah, well, L.C. & his son were papped coming out of some club in Toronto on Monday night though! No word on any hookup though.

    Fuck L.C. anyway. I mean she’s cute and all but Audrina is definitely the really HOT one. Plus, she can actually KEEP A MAN!

    (Which is more than I can say for some neurotic bitches who care more about chipping a nail than they do about reciprocity! It’s YOUR responsibility to remember! Why the hell… oh whatever. I give up.)

    Later,
    Tom

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