“The Hills” Are Alive With The Sound Of Sexy Time

Whenever I write that I don’t watch this one, bitches squawk. Well why do you write about these freaks then? Because EVERYBODY ELSE watches it and wants to know about em’ and I have a job to do, damnit! Lauren Conrad has a new sperm donor, and she’s out on the town with his ass.

The cute blonde was spotted holding hands and making out with dancer/actor Sean Zastoupil over the weekend at Les Deux in Hollywood. Our spy snitched, “They met a couple of years ago at a fashion show in San Diego for Dieter Schmitz’s charity event RH4T and just recently reconnected.” A rep for Conrad didn’t return e-mails.

What a beautiful love story. We wish her the best. Most of these people are odious but I find her slightly LESS odious than the plastic coned chick with the gay fiancee. Seriously, those two have a song together. The only sound I want to hear from them at this point is screeching tires, shrapnel flying and death rattles. Ok, that was harsh but I’m totally stressed out and going to Newport to write from the beach. So why not get the hatred out now so my bad vibes don’t terrify children building sandcastles and and kill seagulls dead like Alka-Seltzer?

LC Continues to Strike a Pose After the Jump