Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag’s Fake Wedding Is In Fake Danger

For real, who watches this show? I want a show of hands? I want to get you into some kind of group meeting, or take you to lunch and plead with you. I want you to stop hurting yourself and turn to healthier forms of self-destruction like binge drinking or cutting yourself. There’s no need for you to put yourself through this sort of abuse. And if you keep watching this collection of bimbos acting badly, they’ll only make more! It’s like crack cocaine, but not as fun! On the most recent episode of “The Hills”, the gruesome twosome of Spencer and Heidi experienced engagement woes. Hopefully next episode then can experience beaten by sticks woes. Spencer wanted to elope in Vegas, while Heidi wanted a fake wedding befitting the plastic buckets on her chest. So she took off her engagement ring and threw her weight around by saying that they should reconsider their wedding plans. Please hand them Emmys now.

this fight didn’t end in a breakup, but it did end with the kind of sappy Prattism we’ve come to expect: “I want to marry you. I just get stressed out when I think of the big production when all I want to do is marry you.”

Oh you sick torturing freaks! Usually a tv drama has someone killed off! Isn’t it time for that? Isn’t it November Sweeps or something? “General Hospital” killed a bitch off, why not you?

Photos: Bauer-Griffin Online