The Gospel According To Star Jones

January 9th, 2006 // 11 Comments

We just love Star Jones like we know all of you do, and are thrilled to see that she’s become a “love coach” on AOL. I’m sure there are thousands of women out there who want to know the ins and outs of how to keep a marriage to a gay man successful. She also is blogging about the book. She shares her wisdom in her new book Shine : A Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Journey to Finding Love. Here are some highlights:

- “Check your breath – either by having a very good friend smell when you exhale, or blow into a paper bag and smell what comes out.”
- “I was lucky – I’ve never been taught anything but ‘You’re fabulous and can achieve anything you want.’”
- “Al was watching a ballgame in the living room, but all of a sudden, there he was in my room. And he started massaging my feet while Fifi and the girls braided my hair.”
- “We learned to make love without having sexual intercourse. It would hold us for awhile.”
- “We went out dirty dancing – we call it slow dragging – four nights in a row.”

Excuse me, but I think I need to go and throw up.

Book shares her big secrets [Daily Dish]

By Miu von Furstenberg
asl

  1. Mariana

    I can’t quite believe that she just looks so scary even after losing all that weight. She looks like a damn California Raisin now.

  2. MJ

    She learned to make love w/out intercourse!!! Duh! that’s how he manages to pull the wool over her eyes!!! It’s Gay Al’s way of making her think that he’s into her w/you having to touch her disgusting ass…. gross.

  3. adgirl

    Please notice she said “my room” and not “our room”…and who are “Fifi and the girls”?

  4. Blindqueen

    I thought Fifi was a dog name…this is one of the most creepy weird things ever.

  5. Brian

    On The View today,Star read her list of qualities her ideal man must have.
    A job,handsome,no criminal record….blah blah blah……the only quality NOT on the list was HETEROSEXUAL.Although “no baby mama” was on the list too…..looks like Big Gay Al really IS the perfect man for her.Now if only she was the perfect man for him………..

  6. tocutetoscoot

    Oh, that is just what I need as a straight woman, Star Jones trying to teach me how to snag a gay man!

    She looks like a blow fish!

  7. Laura Lord Belle

    Star – you married a

    H O M O S E X U A L

    Not a bisexual man..oh! no, a full-blown homo living on the down low. Do not even try to convince us that he is “sexually attracted to you” Her profound arrogance matched by her sheer desperation to hook man is so tragic…and laughable!!

    I am waiting for:

    - Her eventual appearence on OPRAH
    (my husband is gay!!)

    - her denial on THE VIEW

    - her fights with Joy Behar who will remind her that she told her so!!

    LOK AT THEM, THEY ARE SO NOT HAVING ANY SEX OF ANY KIND!!

  8. QueenB

    i just got back from throwing up but if you’ll excuse me I think I need to go do it one more time…

  9. DevzAngel

    OMG, yesterday on ‘Access Hollywood’ or one of the other daily celeb gossip/fanzine shows, “clearly besotted hubby” Al Reynolds was ‘interviewing’ his “celebrity” author-cum-talk show host wife about her new self-help (fiction) book, asking her about such scintillating topics like how sexually attracted they are to one another and how it stregthened their relationship not to immediately consummate their overwhelming desire for one another, instead drawing out the sexual tension to a fever pitch so the culmination of their passion was that much more heartfelt when they finally acted upon it.

    I couldn’t tell if the look on Al’s face was besottedness, incredulous hilarity or merely repugnance, but I know I had a hard time trying to quell the almost irresistible urge to blow my chow all over the TV screen!

  10. Anna

    I was home with a cold the day after Star Jones met her husband for the first time. It had been at an Alecia Keyes event and the next day, Alecia was on The View. She was gushing about how romantic this new guy was, doing all the right things, sending flowers that next day with just the right message on the note, as though he were following a script. Hello? He played Star from the git-go. It’s like watching a train wreak happen in slow motion. You know where it is going to end up and even as you hide your eyes with your hands, you’re watching it through your fingers. Pathetic, really.

  11. elizabeth morrison

    Have you noticed those monekey arms of Star Jones Reynolds? Those things will wrap around anything–they just keep going on and on and she loves to wear sleeveless tops or dresses with the bat wings that she used to flail until she went home one day and watched Tivo and saw how much the loose arm went back and forth for days, then she tucked them in and now she only flails when she forgets! I know she can’t help how God made her; none of us can, but she is so arrogant and thinks she is soooo beautiful and that’s what makes all this stuff so much fun to watch. And the dresses with no bra and the flat boobs–how much can you be in denial when you look in the mirror or at the camera so much of the time? At least she has never worn that “white” skirt again that was going in the crack of her butt and showing the wrinkles! I love it when Joy zings her for playing stupid. Nobody is that stupid at 43; she only got that stupid when she decided to be naive about marriage and divorce and gays and the downlow, etc. I hate her for trying to make me stupid. I hope Al is having a great time with the boys. Quitting his job four months after the marriage would have gotten him an ANNULMENT!

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