The Deli Guy Says Brangelina Getting Married This Weekend

March 17th, 2006 // 41 Comments

I’m doubtful this will go down this weekend. Especially if George Clooney‘s janitor doesn’t know anything about a wedding; the help always knows what’s going on.

Rumors of a forthcoming Brad Pitt-Angelina Jolie wedding are really bringing out the investigative journalism skills at the news wires. Just when you thought George Clooney news had reached critical mass, reporters have now descended upon the small, overpublicized town of Lake Como, Italy where he owns an estate, fueled by rumors that Brangelina will wed there this weekend. Reuters and the Associated Press dispatched its staff writers to do some hard-hitting reporting and here’s what they came up with.

Reuters reports: “A janitor at the villa said Clooney was not there and that he didn’t know of any wedding.”

“But three elderly men having an early glass of wine in a bar down the road were convinced there was more to [the rumors].”

“They are cleaning the village and tidying up everything, something is going to happen,” said Andrea, who declined to give his surname.

And from the AP: “I can tell you Clooney isn’t here (in Laglio), because whenever he’s here a motorboat is tied up to his dock and there’s no motorboat. I’m looking right now from my window,” said Mariuccia Riva, whose husband’s boatyard often rents boats to Clooney’s guests.

Could it be that the wedding may be taking place in Italy, but not at Clooney’s villa?

Brangelina To Wed, Says The Deli Guy [US Weekly]

By Miu von Furstenberg

  1. katie

    Pitt looked so much better when he wasn’t running around the world and sleeping on planes. The ugly hair, pasty skin — he looks awful.

    I have a feeling he’s probably so run-down from her lifestyle.

    Who cares when/where they marry? I mean, she’s already pregnant, why not?

  2. tia

    I dont think Brad and Angie getting are married. I dont know about Brad, but Angie is a wise one. I dont see her jumping into marriage just this minute. I think this story is absolute crap.

  3. BlazerMary

    I wish they would just go ahead with do it. At least it would give Brad a reason for some personal grooming.

    What are their wedding colors, gray and grayer?

  4. Madi

    I love Brangelina and all but this story is getting really old…please just report when they are hitched. She needs to hire me as her stylist. I was very chic with both my pregnancies.

  5. You know what pisses me off?? I love both of them… but it pisses me off that Brad always adopts the image of the woman he’s with. With Gweneth… they had the same blond locks… with Jen… same guy next door cuteness… now all the dark clothing w/angelina?? Does he have a personality?

  6. Small Fry

    Zzzzzzz….who cares anymore?

  7. True Love

    Oh, I hope they get married in beautiful Italy. What bliss! The world is full of love and their love is beautiful.

  8. Kelsey

    It’s St. Paddy’s day and I’m completely sober…can I have some of whatever you are on True Love??

  9. CoolToTheEnd

    Lawgirl you bring up a valid point that I completely missed, however you are so right when you think about his past. My second thought is can the little black kid walk? Brad is carting the little thing around the world. Angelina picked the kid out, she should haul his little butt for a while. The whole troop looks like a homeless family, tacky, greasy, dirty and unkempt.

  10. tia

    Hey CoolToTheEnd .. the “little thing” that brad is carrying is a human being .. a baby girl named Zahara. The “black kid” who you refer to as a he is only 1 or 2 years old. I understand that maybe you dont know about Angies kids so yea thats cool … but they are ppl not “little things”.

  11. tocutetoscoot

    Cooltotheend, the “little black kid” has a name you stupid twat. You are disgusting with your “thing” comments. She is a baby. It is biggoted morons like you that make these posting sites not fun to read. Keep your racist rhetoric to yourself, or learn to rephrase.

  12. He meant to log-in as

    “Fool to the end.”

    Hey Genius, “the little black kid” is only a little over a year old. I’m sure you haven’t raised anything that you probably didn’t flush down the toilet after you killed it from neglect, but most parents wouldn’t allow a 14-month old baby to walk around an international airport by HERself.


  13. Blank

    I think the thing that strikes me the most about this couple is that they’re so drab… Their clothes are drab. Their facial expressions are drab. Their body language is drab. Even the sky is drab wherever I see pictures them.

  14. my2cents

    If they marry this weekend or whenever…good for them. I’m sure they would appreciate it if everyone would just leave then the hell alone. They probably look so exhaused because they are trying to stay under the radar of the press!

  15. True Love

    This beatiful love we know as Brangelina is a blessing. The planets have aligned and the moon has given its blessing.

    This is a love dictated by the Cosmos.

    How beautiful. Little Zahara is a beauty and Mad is a cute little chap. Oh how wonderful – this family is not drab – they have stripped themselves of artificial things to embrace the pure natural love that mother earth gives them.

    Oh I see them now on an Italian Gondola serenaded by love love love love.

    That’s Amore Brangelina!

  16. lauren


  17. maryanne29

    Lawgirl, you make some good points. What I’ve always noticed is that he seems to gravitate to the hottest actress at the moment. He’s the guy who has to be with the most popular girl. With Gywneth, they seemed to be a couple right when she was getting some good movie roles and becoming a household name. He got together with Jennifer in the midst of the Friends craze. With Angelina, after she got away from the weirdness of Billy Bob and became the Donna Reed of the UN, here comes Brad. And how can we forget Juliette Lewis….he was with her when she was doing some high-profile films like Natural Born Killers, Cape Fear.

    I’m not a shrink but basic psychology seems to indicate there’s a trend in his choices that might hide some insecurities.

    Wow, I’ve been thinking way too much about this!

  18. Rumor

    To me, Brad is looking a little better here, a little more rested.

    Also, has anyone noticed how much happier Maddox looks since Brad Pitt came into the picture? He smiles more and looks much more confident, like he is a big boy now. I’m sure he was happy with mom, but as kids get older and attend school/have friends, having a father is terribly important, especially for boys, as they need a male figure to emulate.

    Like a lot of you, I would love to see Angelina dress up and look voluptuous, but with all their travel, they probably don’t have the time or energy to worry much about clothes and makeup.

    If they marry this weekend, that would be great. I am convinced that Angelina really wants the traditional family life, and having parents who are happy, married and together is the best thing for the children.

  19. “Truelove” are you “DrTia” in disguise?? You’re freaking creeping me out!

  20. Rumor

    Maryanne29, you do make some good points.

    I wish I’d said what I’m saying now before my last post, because I would rather end on a happy note.

    What you said about Brad Pitt has crossed my mind before. I felt similarly about actor Ben Affleck, who seems a bit insecure with Hollywood.

    Brad is a huge star, but he’s not on the same level as the serious actors like Al Pacino or Dustin Hoffman. He’s also midwestern born. That could be cause for some insecurities and make a man want to be with a woman who is getting a lot of attention.

    Well, time will tell.

  21. Girly Girl

    True Love? You are truly on crack, man. Put the bong down, step away from the key board, and come back to reality… ‘natural love and mother earth’? Oh good god. Angelina fu$ked his brains out and now she’s knocked up. I’m not sure what parallel universe you are living in (but I’m willing to bet it involves either L. Ron Hubbard or Krishna), but homewrecking and shacking up don’t exactly speak to the power of love, my trippin’ friend….

  22. Caliban

    Yawn, can’t they just go away. Great he cheated on his wife then impregnated his new lover, oldest story in the book.
    No, I’m not a Jenn fan (at all) it’s just the truth and it is as plain as the nose on your face.
    True love LOL, true lust :)

  23. True Love

    Why don’t we all come together as one and celebrate this blissful union of stars, moons, and energies aligned that has given us Brangelina?

    Why so much negativity? Brangelina love is a true testament to the human heart. And their beautiful children.

    Likek Bob Marley said: “One Love, One Heart, let’s get together and feel alright”……

    Away on a Gondola they will go to celebrate this love. it is a love that is a model for what we can accomplish on this beautifull mother earth.

    A multi-color love enriched which multicolor children that knows no race or color. It is blissful.

    Good Luck Brangelina. You are truly beautiful!

  24. tinalou

    What exactly do they have in common? She is a little nutty, I mean, wearing vials of blood around her neck and playing with knives, but Brad is so…normal? What do they talk about?

  25. Maniston has No Class

    What they have in common?

    To Die For Gorgeous looks and humanitarian work.

    Aniston is an idiot.

  26. tia

    Guys I just want to say that i’m not “true love” in disguise …. I dont even know a bob marley song and I could give a flying fuck about the moon and the stars

  27. True Love

    Why such negative energy? Tia, how do you think you came to meet this beautiful earth if not for the moon and the stars?

    Brangelina is a celebration of love. Why can’t we all participate? We are all on this earth together.

    Congrats Brangelina and your beautiful love. Thank you for making the world a better, more humane, and more charitable world.

    I have always been a fan and now I am an even bigger fan – forever.

  28. True Love

    I believe the world one day will be like Brangelina. A world of parents and children of all colors of the rainbow.

    What a beautiful world it would be. For this, I hope so much Brangelina gets married and has a beautiful and peaceful union.

    I will do a reading of their stars to see if this weekend is a good one. But I have a feeling, it is a perfect time to get married, based on the alignment of the stars.

    Good luck Brangelina! Have a beautiful wedding.

  29. True Love

    par of Brad’s horoscope for the weekend based on his date of birth and stars info:

    “Getting out may bring unexpected experiences that have an edge to them, while exploring uncharted areas by yourself or with another can provide a thrill.”

    This is a good sign Brangelina! Good time to get married.

  30. True Love

    HERE is Angelina’s reading for this weekend based on her date of birth and stars info:

    “You make a good impression on others, making this a good time to be seen or to show your love for someone special. Entertaining and being entertained makes you smile. If all is well, you may steep yourself in pleasure and satisfy your desires without guilt.”

    Can you believe it?? I can’t believe how the stars are aligned for them. This is perfect. They must get married this weekend. Oh, what bliss. These two were born for each other. Congrats Brangelina. I am your faithful fan. Your love is wonderful.

  31. Books

    Why are they always wandering through airports? With all their money, they can’t take private jets and “avoid” the press – if they really want to?

  32. ladybug

    true love needs therapy. As does anybody who thinks about settling down with Angelina

  33. jjr

    pleeasee just because they don’t look like every self absorbed narcistic couple in hollywood with fake everything including smiles doesn’t mean they are not genuine. I think I get pretty tired of cameras following me around all day taking pictures. Most people in the normal world don’t go fixing for a photo op every second. Its good to see people in thier natural state for once. I.m so tired of seeing all these pretty hollywood fake couples fake smiling for the cameras.

  34. True Love

    Therapy? Me? Why when the stars dictate how I exist in the world? Ladybug, just join in the bliss isntead of negativity.

    Brangelina is getting married – let’s put our differences aside at least this once everyone.

    Thank you Brangelina. You are beautiful and happy.

  35. Rumor

    Maybe I am a little old-fashioned. I really hope Brad and Angelina marry before the baby arrives. That would be so nice.

  36. True Love

    There is still one more day for this blissful marriage to take place. If we all meditate on it and send out positive energies, it can happen.

    How beautiful Brangelina is! And this is the perfect weekend to get married.

    Thank you Brangelina!

  37. Kelsey

    Is anyone else scared for “True Love”‘s life?

  38. Passport Junkie

    I really think True Love has lost the plot. Seriously kids, i dont think she/he is playing with a full deck.

    Back away slowly and dont make any sudden moves.

  39. True Love

    Passport Junkie and kelsey : That is the kind of negative energy that prevents the Brangelina wedding from happening.

    Why can’t we all in unison wish good for these beautiful two? Who else is such a great model of love, a love that knows no color with their beautiful rainbow children?

    Once we all engage in the positive energies Brangelina deserves from us, they will be married.

    I believe it in my heart.

    Thank you Brangelina.

  40. Passport Junkie

    I am well happy for Brangelina – I think they are a match made in heaven.

    Its just that you’re fuckn nuts

  41. True Love

    Passport Junkie, you have really hurt my feelings.

    In true Brangelina mantra, I forgive you. Brangelina believes in forgiveness and world peace.

    Thank you Brangelina.

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