The Case of Michael Jackson and the Barbershop Poll Penis

Than who?

During my exile from the internet, the Michael Jackson scandal just kept getting juicier and juicier. Here’s a little wrap up.

Michael’s cock looks like a barbershop poll.

Rizzo, a former Chicago police detective who has seen photographs of Jackson’s genitals taken by cops in 1993, claims that because Jackson “bleaches” his body twice a week, distinctive markings on his penis are visible when he is aroused.

“It looks like a barber’s pole,” Rizzo tells PAGE SIX. “That’s exactly what it looks like. The first kid and all the other kids who have seen his penis know that there are brown circles around it. [Page Six]

All together now, EEEWWWWWW!

The Smoking Gun hits pay dirt with the 1903-page record of panel that indicted Michael Jackson on molestation and conspiracy charges. Rumors have it that Michael leaked it himself. It’s really an amazing document. The site also gives details on who all the major players are in the case (if you haven’t been keeping up).

Martin Bashir apparently has nothing better to do than produce and host Michael Jackson specials. Michael Jackson’s defense asked for sanctions against Mr. Bashir. A judge has denied a request for a contempt citation against journalist Martin Bashir, who produced the documentary “Living With Michael Jackson” in 2003 and in the past week followed up with two more TV specials.

Marlon Brando even wondered what Michael was doing behind closed doors with the children.

“He would come to the ranch and always see Michael playing, [and] disappear with the children,” Stella went on. “Michael would never spend time with the adults who came to the ranch.”

Philippe LeMarque added: “Brando didn’t like it.”

Stella continued: “He was the only one. … He said, ‘What the hell is Michael doing with those kids?'” [Lowdown]

I knew I always loved Marlon.

(image via Getty Images)