‘The Walking Dead’ Recap: Wildfire

The Walking Dead is merciless. You had better be sitting down because there is going to be a pick axe to a zombie’s face right out the gate!

Andrea’s annoying sister Amy is dead as a doornail. It was pretty epic watching her get eaten by the ‘geeks’. Andrea realizes that Amy’s death is not so much a loss of a sister, but a loss of her getting it together and not sucking at life.

The camp debated whether to pick axe Amy’s corpse, Andrea learned how to use a safety and Glenn insisted that camp member’s carcasses get buried rather than burned. And you thought your neighborhood was going to shit!

Rick, who is apparently a moron, is ready to leave his wife and son yet again because there may be an off chance the CDC has a cure in a basement bunker somewhere. I think its another excuse for him to talk to his ‘friend’ on the walkie for nine hours. Dude, its a lost cause!

Shane is still a giant douche. As are Daryl and a few others. Abused wife shows Daryl what will happen to his lifeless face if he ever winds up dead around her. Not even the dental records will identify that mess.

So what do you do if one of your camp members gets bit during a zombie attack? You let him incubate for about five hours before making an executive decision, then you leave him sitting against a tree only to become a brainless flesh eater who will catch up to you later. Smartest group of people ever.

Andrea’s ‘solution’ to all of this Amy zombie business, was to wait until she came back from the dead, whisper some old regrets and then blow her damned head off. Happy Birthday I guess?

Mr. Scientist Merlot is drinking red wine from a nice goblet he picked up at Williams-Sonoma, so he naturally doesn’t want to be disturbed with things like healthy people standing outside alive. Just check his YouTube account people, God!

He also has the shittiest 1980’s set up for finding said cure and some really clumsy slippery little bastard hands. Remember, this guy is the only hope for humanity at this point. Now you sense the realism beneath the idiocy.