That Was Fast

Maybe they figured out they can’t survive out in the world without each other. She needs someone to translate the menu for her, and he needs a beard. John Mayer was spotted exiting Jessica Simpson’s hotel in NYC today. Maybe he was borrowing a cup of sugar. Or getting his Boy Butter back.

John – who split with Jessica last Monday, insiders say, because he needed more space – was seen exiting Jessica’s hotel, the Soho Grand in New York, at 12 p.m. today. “He was looking really happy,” an eyewitness tells In Touch. “He couldn’t stop smiling.”

A pal of Jessica’s confirms, “They definitely went on a date last night,” but cautions that the once-divorced star isn’t ready to get back together with John immediately. “She still loves him, but he’s not stable,” the friend explains. “He’s scared of commitment. He breaks up with her and then regrets it and then begs her to get back together.”

This is after he was spotted chatting up Asian chicks this past weekend – which everyone knows is the way the downlows do it. Seriously, any guy you’ve ever seriously thought might be a mo…if he’s ever dragged an Asian chick around – he is. I don’t know what it is, but closet cases love the Asian girls as beards. My Asian ladies need to revolt and fight back against beard slavery. F*ck that. Get a real man and stop letting the pansies into your lives!