That Was Fast

May 21st, 2007 // 6 Comments

Maybe they figured out they can’t survive out in the world without each other. She needs someone to translate the menu for her, and he needs a beard. John Mayer was spotted exiting Jessica Simpson’s hotel in NYC today. Maybe he was borrowing a cup of sugar. Or getting his Boy Butter back.

John – who split with Jessica last Monday, insiders say, because he needed more space – was seen exiting Jessica’s hotel, the Soho Grand in New York, at 12 p.m. today. “He was looking really happy,” an eyewitness tells In Touch. “He couldn’t stop smiling.”

A pal of Jessica’s confirms, “They definitely went on a date last night,” but cautions that the once-divorced star isn’t ready to get back together with John immediately. “She still loves him, but he’s not stable,” the friend explains. “He’s scared of commitment. He breaks up with her and then regrets it and then begs her to get back together.”

This is after he was spotted chatting up Asian chicks this past weekend – which everyone knows is the way the downlows do it. Seriously, any guy you’ve ever seriously thought might be a mo…if he’s ever dragged an Asian chick around – he is. I don’t know what it is, but closet cases love the Asian girls as beards. My Asian ladies need to revolt and fight back against beard slavery. F*ck that. Get a real man and stop letting the pansies into your lives!


By J. Harvey

  1. Jessica totally made a booty call.

  2. TS

    Being Asian, it’s great to have my eyes opened! I’ve been wondering why really effeminate, metro men who come off gay ask me out and then cool off fast on the physical side.

    Thanks, J. Harvey!

  3. rootabega

    my eyes have been opened to a guy of questionable sexuality that i’ve know for years, always has a different girlfriend- always asian! Thanks j harvey!

  4. UKLady

    In that fourth picture she looks like a ram getting ready to batter his mo self…..I have never seen the slightest appeal of this woman, despite her proud rack! She’s the worst.

  5. Corinna

    Nice…way to be racist, ignoranus.

  6. asianrene

    I know from experience (asian-american female fruit fly) that gay men who are on the dl dated me because physically, I am in between a boy and a girl, not really a WOMAN to them. Don’t get mad, this is what I have been told after the guy comes clean when asked why we only went to gay clubs (The EndUp, The Brig, etc.) and no physical display of affection…

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