Tara Reid Gives Up Alcohol

October 20th, 2005 // 15 Comments

And the moon is made out of cheese.

We just heard on the radio that Tara Reid has announced that she is going to give up drinking alcohol. We are speechless.
This is a sad, sad day. We’re going to go out and get shit-faced drunk and mourn. Then, this weekend, we will go out with Tara and get shit-faced drunk and celebrate her return to her boozing, slutting, Ex-lax chewing ways!

P.S. This is not a joke. And we are not hard of hearing. We honestly heard that Tara Reid is giving up the booze.

She must have been drunk when she said it, because it ain’t happening!

Breaking Fast: Hell Has Frozen Over [Perez Hilton]

(Image via Gridskipper)

By Miu von Furstenberg
  1. Johnny Chicago

    Tara Reid? Who?

    Hasn’t relevant since ’03, and the infamous tit splash.

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzz…

  2. gloobnis

    anything to make news, eh Tara?

  3. alexis

    i’m glad she still comes up every once in awhile. makes me feel better about myself.

  4. Silasdog

    Tara give up drinking? Yeah, and I’m gonna give up breathing. Perhaps the article was misquoted. I think it said Tara will give up drinking WINE, she will now drink only vodka, because clear alchohol drinks enhance orgasms, and since she’s getting liquored up and slammed every night, the vodka is the best way to go.

  5. ThrillKill

    Ahhhh, the glamor of celebrity…

  6. Cynthia

    If Tara gives up alcohol, Budweiser, Jack Daniels and Seagrams will probably all go out of business. She better not do it!

  7. T$

    Lovely, what about all the coke and such??? I think alcohol is probly the least of her problems.

  8. Green Eyed Angel

    shes just talking crazy cuz Taradise got canceled. Just blatent blasted ramblings drooling from her mouth. Nothing to worry about, hell has yet to freeze…

  9. Gossip Guru

    She may have said that she is giving up drinking, but she did not mention that she now plans to live off of a steady diet of coccaine and poppers!

  10. Lisa

    That totally looks like Jessica Simpson.

  11. Tajue

    Why would she make that statement? She’s setting herself up. If she tries and fails, it will bite her in the ass. The press will be ruthless. She’s long for ‘the good old days’.

  12. local celeb

    Thats totally a picture of Jessica Simpson. Look at her mouth. And she always wears those sunglasses.

  13. Tajue

    I’ve never seen Jessica with a cigarette. But the ratty ass robe does look familiar.

  14. Lin

    Taradise really got cancelled? If that’s true, I can understand why — it was horrible!

  15. Tara's a silly ho

    She looks like a mean drunk mixed with batshit crazy.

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