Tabloid Roundup: OCD Means Something Else In Britney’s World

OK! Magazine has the exclusive this week with the infamous Britney Spears and her marital problems. She talks ad nauseum about her pregnancy and how this time it’s easier because it’s her second one. Britney goes on about how her main craving is ice, and she’s doing 30 minute walks to keep in shape for an easier birth. When asked if she was surprised about the quick second pregnancy, she responded “It’s okay – I love boo boos.” No, you read that correct the first time, she referenced her second child as a “boo boo,” and she went on about how Kevin loves boo boos too.

Kevin almost could field a basketball team with the number of children he has–that’s no boo boo. I honestly think this ditzy bitch has no clue about what goes on around her. She talks in the interview about her obsessive-compulsive cleaning disorder. I’m not kidding. The girl will go out, thong hanging out, hair in curlers, face lookin’ a hot mess, and she expects me to believe she’s OCD? She clamors on about unwanted attention, and does a photo shoot nude, in a fur coat. I can’t believe the career suicide she’s committed over and over. I’ll even admit the black hair she’s recently dyed was hot for two seconds before she opened her mouth again. It blows me away, because for weeks Angelina has dominated the headlines. Adopting two kids from war torn countries, having a child, and donating all this money. This isn’t all though …

US Weekly had to hop on the Spederline bandwagon. Apparently the couple has hired a Christian life coach to help work through their problems. In talking to the coach, Kevin reportedly agreed to give up four hours a day to spend with the kids and being a father. The article reports on the Matt Lauer interview where Britney said, “He’s a man, he needs to do his own thing, it’s important he does that.” She doesn’t realize doing his own thing involves strippers, Las Vegas, night clubs, and loving “popozao.” The culmination of the article is a breakdown of her Lauer interview by an ex-FBI polygraph examiner and criminal profiler. He points out she was lying when she says her relationship isn’t on the rocks, she lied about him sleeping in her bed, she takes no blame for being a bad mother, and she doesn’t think she’s in power in her relationship.

What part of that surprises anyone reading this blog? She’s not fooling everyone, and the fact she clings to something so broken is bad for her children. Did you ever get the feeling her kids are going to be Jack and Kelly Osbourne-eqsue?

Lastly, Life & Style Weekly reports on a future secret meeting between Jen and Brad. Apparently Brad’s production company has a movie on the slate, A Senator’s Wife, which will star Jen. Reportedly he’s pushing for a meeting to talk shop about the movie to get it in production. This would all secretly be a rouse to through off media types so they could make peace with their divorce and be friends. If this is true, does Brad realize Angelina carried blood around her neck, and reportedly likes a “Donkey Punch” in bed? She had sex with Billy Bob Thorton in their limo waiting to get out at the MTV VMA’s a few years back. I’m 100% sure that if that meeting happened, Angelina could make him disappear in a jungle in Borneo. Plus, it’s just not a good place to be. The reps for both parties deny any kind of meeting taking place in the future. If you wonder what that meeting would feel like, cut yourself, pour salt in the wound, and just before it heals, rip the scab off and repeat. It could possibly be the entire destruction of Jennifer Aniston… On second thought, I may want this meeting to happen.

Written by Joshua Martin