Tabloid Roundup: OCD Means Something Else In Britney’s World

June 29th, 2006 // 13 Comments

OK! Magazine has the exclusive this week with the infamous Britney Spears and her marital problems. She talks ad nauseum about her pregnancy and how this time it’s easier because it’s her second one. Britney goes on about how her main craving is ice, and she’s doing 30 minute walks to keep in shape for an easier birth. When asked if she was surprised about the quick second pregnancy, she responded “It’s okay – I love boo boos.” No, you read that correct the first time, she referenced her second child as a “boo boo,” and she went on about how Kevin loves boo boos too.

Kevin almost could field a basketball team with the number of children he has–that’s no boo boo. I honestly think this ditzy bitch has no clue about what goes on around her. She talks in the interview about her obsessive-compulsive cleaning disorder. I’m not kidding. The girl will go out, thong hanging out, hair in curlers, face lookin’ a hot mess, and she expects me to believe she’s OCD? She clamors on about unwanted attention, and does a photo shoot nude, in a fur coat. I can’t believe the career suicide she’s committed over and over. I’ll even admit the black hair she’s recently dyed was hot for two seconds before she opened her mouth again. It blows me away, because for weeks Angelina has dominated the headlines. Adopting two kids from war torn countries, having a child, and donating all this money. This isn’t all though …

US Weekly had to hop on the Spederline bandwagon. Apparently the couple has hired a Christian life coach to help work through their problems. In talking to the coach, Kevin reportedly agreed to give up four hours a day to spend with the kids and being a father. The article reports on the Matt Lauer interview where Britney said, “He’s a man, he needs to do his own thing, it’s important he does that.” She doesn’t realize doing his own thing involves strippers, Las Vegas, night clubs, and loving “popozao.” The culmination of the article is a breakdown of her Lauer interview by an ex-FBI polygraph examiner and criminal profiler. He points out she was lying when she says her relationship isn’t on the rocks, she lied about him sleeping in her bed, she takes no blame for being a bad mother, and she doesn’t think she’s in power in her relationship.

What part of that surprises anyone reading this blog? She’s not fooling everyone, and the fact she clings to something so broken is bad for her children. Did you ever get the feeling her kids are going to be Jack and Kelly Osbourne-eqsue?

Lastly, Life & Style Weekly reports on a future secret meeting between Jen and Brad. Apparently Brad’s production company has a movie on the slate, A Senator’s Wife, which will star Jen. Reportedly he’s pushing for a meeting to talk shop about the movie to get it in production. This would all secretly be a rouse to through off media types so they could make peace with their divorce and be friends. If this is true, does Brad realize Angelina carried blood around her neck, and reportedly likes a “Donkey Punch” in bed? She had sex with Billy Bob Thorton in their limo waiting to get out at the MTV VMA’s a few years back. I’m 100% sure that if that meeting happened, Angelina could make him disappear in a jungle in Borneo. Plus, it’s just not a good place to be. The reps for both parties deny any kind of meeting taking place in the future. If you wonder what that meeting would feel like, cut yourself, pour salt in the wound, and just before it heals, rip the scab off and repeat. It could possibly be the entire destruction of Jennifer Aniston… On second thought, I may want this meeting to happen.

Written by Joshua Martin

By Miu von Furstenberg
asl

  1. confused

    what the hell does britney mean by “i love boo-boos”? is she trying to say that she didn’t mean to get knocked-up? that’s wonderful…like SPF isn’t going through enough physical trauma-what with his mother dropping him on his head all the damn time, he gets to grow up and realize he was a “boo-boo”. she’s a dumbass!

  2. gwenna

    hee hee-she calls her babies “boo boos”. what a weirdo.

  3. Stoney

    BOO-BOO’S!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Just when you think she can’t possibly do or say anything to make herself seem any stupider, SHE DOES! God I love this blog. This is fucking priceless!

  4. grammar

    Hey I know it’s only a tawdry gossip blog, but your spelling and grammar are atrocious. Rouse???? If you’re going to write snarky little blurbs for a living, it’s probably not a good thing to compose them with the intelligence of a sixth grade girl. Wait scratch that, a sixth grade girl probably knows the difference between to and too. Good luck with the writing career.

  5. grammar

    Hey I know it’s only a tawdry gossip blog, but your spelling and grammar are atrocious. Rouse???? If you’re going to write snarky little blurbs for a living, it’s probably not a good thing to compose them with the intelligence of a sixth grade girl. Wait scratch that, a sixth grade girl probably knows the difference between to and too. Good luck with the writing career.

  6. grammar

    Hey I know it’s only a tawdry gossip blog, but your spelling and grammar are atrocious. Rouse???? If you’re going to write snarky little blurbs for a living, it’s probably not a good thing to compose them with the intelligence of a sixth grade girl. Wait scratch that, a sixth grade girl probably knows the difference between to and too. Good luck with the writing career.

  7. School Marm

    “This would all secretly be a rouse to through off media types”

    It’s “ruse”, not rouse and “throw off” not through off.

    This is not meant to insult the writer, I liked the article very much.

  8. ann

    it was sure nice of grammar to nitpick and then triple post.

  9. Never Happening

    *Chuckle* No way is Brad Pitt going have his talentless Ex star in a movie from his production company. The reasons: Rumour has it, The Breakup, Friends with Money, Derailed, Along Came Polly.

  10. Joshua

    haha! I love when people bust my grammatical balls. Yeah, I did mess up that “rouse” and “through off”. I just spell check most of the time, and being real words they get missed. I do hope, however, that you all enjoy the blog. Even the critical people help me get better.

  11. Sargent Pepper

    For the love of God, “boo boo” is an extremely common term of affection for regular people in reference to children you love whether everyone uses it or not. The US contains 50 states, not just NY and CA. It is not in any way a reference to a boo boo like an accident. Has no one else ever been called boo or boo boo by their grandparents or parents? I can’t believe people are calling her stupid and making fun of her when they are the ones who don’t know that boo boo is very commonly a term of affection meaning babies that are just little cuties, sweeties, etc…

  12. Stoney

    Whatever Pepper. She was obviously using the term to mean accident. Check the context. The interviewer was asking her about getting knocked up so soon after SPF.
    That’s pretty good spin, though. Are you her publicist?

  13. Bj Hickman

    Seriously, Sargent Pepper? Are you seriously that naive? I’m all for giving people the benefit of the doubt, and I am truly sensitive to the frustration celebrity life must bring, living one’s life in a fishbowl. But people, PLEASE!!

    No one with an ounce of good sense can still make even a single excuse for this woman. She needs to go into seclusion, raise her children, fix her marriage (if that’s even possible) then stage a comeback when (if) she grows up and gains some maturity. These children are the ones who will pay the price for her continued self-indulgence.

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