Superman’s Enormous Package

December 13th, 2005 // 5 Comments

The studio must be doing some major strapping down, because I’m just not seeing it.

Hollywood executives have ordered the makers of Superman Returns to cover up the rookie actor’s blockbuster bulge.

An insider said last night: “It’s a major issue for the studio. Brandon is extremely well endowed and they don’t want it up on the big screen. We may be forced to erase his package with digital effects.”

Parker Posey, 37, who co-stars as bad girl Kitty, told how he was constantly being messed about by costume staff.

She said: “He’s got everyone touching him all the time.

“He’s lying on his stomach and he’s got five people coming up and pulling his underwear down, sticking their hands up the butt of his suit.”

His package in attached to his butt?

Supermanhood [The Sun]

By Miu von Furstenberg
asl

  1. Stewie Griffin

    Just sounds like the Hollywood publicity machine cranking up again and creating another urban ( internet ) legend. Remember all the buzz about Collin Ferrell’s nude scene in “At The End Of The World”? Then those screen-caps from “Alexander” floated around and we could see it was no bigger than any other. Question is, who exactly are they gearing this type of hype towards? I imagine teen boys don’t care much for such a thing…unless they’re gay. If we’re to believe all the crap these publicists try to feed us, then Hollywood is just one big sausage fest and I don’t buy it. Note to Superman’s publicists: I can find my own oral distraction, just make sure the movie’s not the one doing the sucking.

  2. Stewie Griffin

    Just sounds like the Hollywood publicity machine cranking up again and creating another urban ( internet ) legend. Remember all the buzz about Collin Ferrell’s nude scene in “At The End Of The World”? Then those screen-caps from “Alexander” floated around and we could see it was no bigger than any other. Question is, who exactly are they gearing this type of hype towards? I imagine teen boys don’t care much for such a thing…unless they’re gay. If we’re to believe all the crap these publicists try to feed us, then Hollywood is just one big sausage fest and I don’t buy it. Note to Superman’s publicists: I can find my own oral distraction, just make sure the movie’s not the one doing the sucking.

  3. ortem

    interesting how the took the red from Candy Apple down to a Maroon

  4. ortem

    by the way… he is SUPER man… he had better be packing!

  5. Weasel

    Don’t know about Superman, but I ain’t got a big willy and if you put me in those tight underpants I’m gonna look like Rocco Siffredi anyways. If this guy is packed then congrats to him, but I suspect it’s just a lousy outift design, which is pretty evident anyways, isn’t it? Talk about ugly suits…

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