Starlets Do Baseball Players

July 24th, 2007 // 6 Comments


The newest trend in Hollywood is to bang baseball players. Who didn’t know that was a hot scene? Alyssa Milano and my girl Eliza Dushku are both dating guys from the L.A. Dodgers. Crappy team to pick, but hey – baseball players are hot. Apparently Alyssa is on some kind of mission and has already f*cked the entire team. Currently she’s on Russell Martin, who’s the catcher. Good for her. If it’s hot ass you want, you go for the catcher. They’re squatting all the time so their lower half is whoa momma! Jason Varitek, I love you!

This weekend, Milano, who has been previously linked to pitchers Barry Zito, Carl Pavano and Brad Penny, played it cool in her dugout seats as the Dodgers hosted the New York Mets, but an eyewitness tells “she was smiling a lot.” Meanwhile Martin is said to have rushed off the diamond after the game to text Milano in the stands.

See what I mean? You haven’t seen Alyssa for awhile because she’s on her back in the dugout! And Eliza is with Alyssa’s ex Brad Penny. Who she attended a party at the Playboy Mansion with. Eliza’s my girl, because she’s from my area and she was Faith on “Buffy”. She’s the hotness. So I’m totally playing favorites when I surmise that Alyssa Milano is loose and Eliza has the most wholesome of relationships with Mr. Penny. They hold hands a lot. At the Playboy Mansion.

By J. Harvey

  1. mollynik73

    Oh J. Harvey…I love you!!! Go Tek!!!!

    Had to do it :)

  2. Wendy

    J. Harvey, Tek is okay, but for my money, it’s gotta be Mike Lowell!!!

  3. Persistent Cat

    J won’t like this but I’d run off with Derek Jeter in a heartbeat.

  4. tommy

    Derek jeter is bi. If you’re a guy it makes it much better for him. He’s not coming out the closet though.

  5. George

    Uhhh….Am I the only one who’s wondering if her pre-disposition has anything with the fact that she played the daughter of an ex-baseball player turned Manny for all those years on ‘Who’s the Boss’. Samantha Micelli sure grew up nice……if she is trying to get some sort of daddy thing out of her system I am more than prepared to quit my job and be her man-maid. I’d even do it for free.

  6. Papelboner

    Tek’s thighs are like tree trunks and make me woozy. Papelbon is way hot too.

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