Britney Spears Scowls At Life

March 19th, 2008 // 5 Comments

Britney Spears’ parents, Jamie and Lynne, took her for dinner at the Paradise Cove restaurant in Malibu last night. Why are they trying to cover her with that red jacket? We know! It’s out in the open!

Where’s Mel Gibson? I thought those two had hooked up, and were plotting a new empire of greasy weaves and anti-Semitism. You know Mel is the one guy intruding on Britney’s life that dad Jamie can’t say “no” to. Lutfi and Adnan were big homos, with their Hot Topic wardrobes and gay facial hair. Mel’s a real man. Sure, he celebrates the Holocaust yearly but he was in “Lethal Weapon”. Of course you can take my bipolar daughter to your Nazi meeting! Enjoy!

Brit’s parents have found common ground between them as they struggle to look after their two troubled daughters. They’ve managed to keep Britney on lockdown and are hopefully pumping her full of drugs to keep her brain chemistry in check and vagina under wraps. Mom Lynne spends her time between looking after Britney in LA, and checking on her pregnant daughter Jamie-Lynn Spears in Louisiana.

Mom and Pop deny rumors of a romantic reconciliation, but Lynne is apparently falling in love with his Wal-Mart dressed ass all over again. “”Jamie had to change his whole routine. Lynne sings his praises. He has been such a rock. He has stepped up to the plate,” says a family friend.

Britney herself looks less than pleased that someone yanked on her leash. She should take comfort in the fact that she looks a little less scabby than usual. Something is definitely working here.


More photos of Britney Spears and her parents departing Paradise Cove restaurant after the jump.


By J. Harvey

  1. WTF

    Why can’t this bitches eat at home?

  2. Queen Caffeine

    greasy weaves and anti-Semitism is the name of kat von d’s rock band

  3. What's Good For the Goose

    Enough of the Nazi remarks made towards Mel Gibson. While that guy was let back on tv for making slurs against black, I think Mel should be left alone and the Jewish slurs should not be brought up.

  4. Steven

    Britney’s the sexiest woman in the world! Mel Really hit the jackpot with this one! Any man would be lucky to have her!

  5. Nigel

    I hope Britney tops this year’s FHM poll, because she is far sexier than half of the uggos out there today! And Christina Aguilera had better not top the list, because there’s no way in hell that she’s sexier than Miss Spears!

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