Oh god help you. And us. Marrying a dude with several restraining orders against him is not what you need right now, Britney Spears. Nevermind that, he rams into other cars when he gets panicked. I hope the children’s car seats have their own airbags. There’s a scary rumor going around that Britney might be planning to marry her bff Sam lufti in Las Vegas. Sources say she has informed her lawyers and K-Fed. Britney’s last (and definitely not her only) Vegas wedding was terminated after 55 hours in 2004. She married…I don’t know, some clown from her hometown who is probably still getting free Slushies over in Kentwood because he’s “The Guy Who Married Britney Spears Before She Lost The Hot”. Britney’s lawyers have allegedly tried to get her to file a pre-nup to no avail because “Tila Tequila” was on and I’m tryin’ ta watch and how do I git on this show, yo, Tila is hawt! K-Fed is supposedly saying that he doesn’t want his kids near the shadowy Sam lufti and will step up his efforts to keep sole custody. Good idea. The shocker of 2007 is that Kevin Federline started looking like a responsible parent compared to that trampy goofball he mated with.