‘Soul Train’ Loving Tom Cruise Premieres ‘Valkyrie’ In NYC

December 15th, 2008 // 5 Comments

Finally, after all the build-up that we’ve heard about Tom Cruise‘s latest film Valkyrie
the damn thing is premiering. The WWII tale of German resistance
fighters against the Nazi regime premiered in New York with Tom’s new
buddy Mario Lopez from Extra on the red carpet.

Tom revealed to Mario from whence he gleaned his rhythm, “I learned how to dance watching Soul Train…Always the coolest moves.”
Hopefully, Tom was able to incorporate his dance skills into his
uplifting Hitler assassination plot movie. Work that eye patch, bitch!

Cruise also reassured us that he has no intention of hiding away his delightfully photogenic daughter Suri Cruise
any time soon. “What choice do I have? We didn’t let pictures out at
first and there was a bit of an outcry…It’s our life and I don’t know
what else to do.”

He’s right, you know. A diva cannot blossom without plenty of camera
flashbulbs providing her with the light she needs to develop into the
full-grown flower of a drama queen that we hope she will become.

Check out all the photos of Tom Cruise at the Valkyrie New York premiere in the gallery.


Finally, after all the build-up that we’ve heard about Tom Cruise‘s latest film Valkyrie
the damn thing is premiering. The WWII tale of German resistance
fighters against the Nazi regime premiered in New York with Tom’s new
buddy Mario Lopez from Extra on the red carpet.

Tom revealed to Mario from whence he gleaned his rhythm, “I learned how to dance watching Soul Train…Always the coolest moves.”
Hopefully, Tom was able to incorporate his dance skills into his
uplifting Hitler assassination plot movie. Work that eye patch, bitch!

Cruise also reassured us that he has no intention of hiding away his delightfully photogenic daughter Suri Cruise
any time soon. “What choice do I have? We didn’t let pictures out at
first and there was a bit of an outcry…It’s our life and I don’t know
what else to do.”

He’s right, you know. A diva cannot blossom without plenty of camera
flashbulbs providing her with the light she needs to develop into the
full-grown flower of a drama queen that we hope she will become.

By Lisa Timmons
  1. Rachel

    Thanks Lisa, I’m going to be seeing that picture in my nightmares.

  2. Snow Pie

    O-Dumba is an evil Jew’s tool and puppet. He’s a nothing, a zero. He’s going to help Jews continue to rob America and enrich the lazy, stupid, racist pigs who are robbing America from within in the ongoing Armageddon.

    The jelous negroes did this: http://www.rebelgraphics.org/ludlow.html

    This is what fascists do to the working class:
    courses.ed.asu.edu/margolis/life/homepageexp.htm

    O-Dumba and his kyke cabal in Congress are going to continue helping the Energy cabal rob America’s working class who signed contracts stating that they would get pensions and health benefits.

    Jealous lazy stupid negroes and Jews are robbing this nation from within. They are our enemy, not Iran or Iraq. It’s the lazy thieving racist maggots of the Jew and negro community that have destroyed America and by doing so have harmed all people of the world

    Truth be known.

    The kykes of Kongress must be exiled or tried for treason, found guilty and punished like the thieving deceitful god-pushing oppressors removed from power during the French Revolutions.

    Apparently, Americans did not learn how to fight religous morons from the French Revolution. Failing to learn that lesson, it’s time to start practicing. Congressional Jews must pay for standing down and allowing 9/11 to occur and for profiting off of 9/11 in stock scams and from war profiteering in the illegal Iraq invasion that they fully supported.

    Jews are robbing our tax money and sending money stolen from Americans to Israel where Kykes are builing new cities with money stolen from Americans. This is called Marxist-Leninism and is a policy Jews came up with to rob Americans via subversive activity in business and politics. They planned to rob Americans during Lenin’s administration in Bolshevick Russia. Russia project #6 is the devil’s plan designed by Lenin to rob American weapons’ technology and send it to Russia where Jews would then use it against us as the Jews did on 9/11 with the help of greedy aristocratic war profiteers and traitors who can’t earn an honest day’s work because they are pathetically stupid morons.

  3. Snow Pie

    O-Dumba is an evil Jew’s tool and puppet. He’s a nothing, a zero. He’s going to help Jews continue to rob America and enrich the lazy, stupid, racist pigs who are robbing America from within in the ongoing Armageddon.

    The jelous negroes did this: http://www.rebelgraphics.org/ludlow.html

    This is what fascists do to the working class:
    courses.ed.asu.edu/margolis/life/homepageexp.htm

    O-Dumba and his kyke cabal in Congress are going to continue helping the Energy cabal rob America’s working class who signed contracts stating that they would get pensions and health benefits.

    Jealous lazy stupid negroes and Jews are robbing this nation from within. They are our enemy, not Iran or Iraq. It’s the lazy thieving racist maggots of the Jew and negro community that have destroyed America and by doing so have harmed all people of the world

    Truth be known.

    The kykes of Kongress must be exiled or tried for treason, found guilty and punished like the thieving deceitful god-pushing oppressors removed from power during the French Revolutions.

    Apparently, Americans did not learn how to fight religous morons from the French Revolution. Failing to learn that lesson, it’s time to start practicing. Congressional Jews must pay for standing down and allowing 9/11 to occur and for profiting off of 9/11 in stock scams and from war profiteering in the illegal Iraq invasion that they fully supported.

    Jews are robbing our tax money and sending money stolen from Americans to Israel where Kykes are builing new cities with money stolen from Americans. This is called Marxist-Leninism and is a policy Jews came up with to rob Americans via subversive activity in business and politics. They planned to rob Americans during Lenin’s administration in Bolshevick Russia. Russia project #6 is the devil’s plan designed by Lenin to rob American weapons’ technology and send it to Russia where Jews would then use it against us as the Jews did on 9/11 with the help of greedy aristocratic war profiteers and traitors who can’t earn an honest day’s work because they are pathetically stupid morons.

  4. Martinman

    That Maverick smile reminds me of the Don McLean song….satan laughing with delight…

  5. stolidog

    there must have been a lot of quivering man-parts between Tom and mario.

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